humility

Kobe Bryant died yesterday.
There was a helicopter crash, and in fact, several people died, including Kobe Bryant's 13 year-old daughter, Gianna, and two other middle-school age students.
This is devastating news for the families impacted. The overwhelming response to Kobe Bryant's loss reveals just how much we connect with and conjure relationships with celebrities and entertainers. It prompted a very meaningful conversation with two guys from the church that I attend. In that way, it surprised me how meaningful this loss is.

Today I went to the hospital to try to deal with a bill from our extended stay back in the summer of 2018. Hospitals traffic in death, even though they exist to prolong life. Walking away, I was reminded of how humbling hospitals are.

If you need to be reminded of the fragility of life, of the importance of your relationships, I encourage you to wake up early one morning, drive on over to the nearest hospital, and venture to the cafeteria for breakfast. Get yourself something decent and take a seat for a while. Notice those going through the line. Notice those seated and eating. Then, walk a few halls. If you don't walk away with a different perspective on the day, let alone your relationships and the things that matter to you, I will be surprised.

I'm terribly sad for Kobe Bryant's family. In the immediacy, his wife and family have to plan two funerals. Soon, his wife will probably have to connect with lawyers and financial advisers who have managed Kobe Bryant's contractual obligations and wealth. There are three living daughters surviving this death, one that is not even a year old. A mother is grieving. Daughters are certainly confused and scared. Things can change so very fast, and when they do, we all tend to be a bit more humble and thankful and kind. Wouldn't it be nice if we could remember this lesson, and walk through life each day living it out?

feeling rotten

Sometimes I make mistakes, and afterward I always feel rotten.

Sometimes I am presented with a possibility, and I don't know what to do. Sometimes I don't feel like I have someone with whom I can talk the possibility through, or the situation through, and I make a decision. I think about it. I consider alternatives. Then I make a decision. And almost immediately after finding someone who can talk things through with me, I realize how stupid my decision was. And afterward I feel rotten.

I guess I wish I allowed myself more time. I guess I wish I had someone immediately reliable who I could go to in order to talk through things. I need to process things verbally, but I also need wise counsel. I am not enough on my own. And sometimes, not being smart enough makes me feel rotten.

I hope that you take your time. I hope that you make better decisions. I hope that you have someone older, wiser, and patient, with whom you can share your conundrums. I hope that you have someone reliable and truthful and understanding to whom you can admit your weaknesses. I hope that you have someone compassionate and encouraging who can encourage you when you admit your mistakes. And I hope that after you've lived through your mistakes that you get to be the older, wiser, patient, reliable, truthful, understanding, compassionate, and encouraging someone to a younger version of yourself. I hope that you get to be that for someone else, otherwise we're all just wanting and wishing for what's available within a friend, neighbor, or coworker, but never sharing ourselves.

in all simplicity

But to deviate from the truth for the sake of some prospect of hope of our own can never be wise, however slight that deviation may be. It is not our judgement of the situation which can show us what is wise, but only the truth of the Word of God. Here alone lies the promise of God's faithfulness and help. It will always be true that the wisest course for the disciple is always to abide solely by the Word of God in all simplicity. 

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Lord, help me to seek wisdom in scripture. Help me to release my own hopes and dreams, to align my desires to yours.

Psalm 121 - The Message

I look up to the mountains;
    does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
    who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

He won’t let you stumble,
    your Guardian God won’t fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel’s
    Guardian will never doze or sleep.

God’s your Guardian,
    right at your side to protect you—
Shielding you from sunstroke,
    sheltering you from moonstroke.

God guards you from every evil,
    he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
    he guards you now, he guards you always.

Tuesday Morning

We went to the doctor. Kristin's pregnant.
She had to clarify for one of the nurses doing an admittance questionnaire:
"Five pregnancies, one living child."

I walked out thinking about people that have five kids. We have one "living" child at home. It's a different world--five and one.

The more I age, the more I find myself in surprising situations. This was one of them.

College Football Championship

More than anything, I watch English Premier League soccer. I have a huge AT&T Uverse package to watch as much European soccer as I can. Along with all the other activities I have going on, I have little time for much other tv watching. But I do my best to watch LSU football. And since the LSU Tigers are facing the Clemson Tigers in the college football championship tomorrow, I could take some time to contemplate sports writing.

Since the championship match-up has been set, I've been checking in on what writers have to say about it. I've looked at South Carolina newspapers, with little of the biased coverage that I expected. I've checked in on Baton Rouge and New Orleans writing, with all of the bias to LSU that I expect. I go to ESPN every day to read about something, and mostly I'm underwhelmed with what I find there. But today I read a lengthy and detailed analysis that is worth sharing.

College football championship--LSU-Clemson analysis, prediction, and more from Bill Connelly from ESPN provided more substantial writing than I have yet to encounter on the topic. Maybe that's what's been most disappointing. I feel like I've been hit with more analytical writing on the wild card match-ups in the NFL than in the actual college football championship.

I feel like Bill Connelly produced one of those detail-oriented, statistics-heavy, jargon-rich lengthy pieces that we used to get from Bill Simmons, and which I loved so much. I can remember, as a college freshman in 1999, tearing out Bill Simmons' articles from the actual ESPN The Magazine, to post on my dorm room wall. I love Bill Simmons' writing so much, and while I don't encounter the same voice here, Connelly does have some of the pieces that left me satisfied after having read for multiple sittings.

I've checked fivethirtyeight.com (Nate Silver) and theringer.com (Bill Simmons) and have been significantly underwhelmed. Fivethirtyeight is focused on politics and the NFL right now, and The Ringer is full on with NFL and NBA coverage. Both of those focal points should be assumptions, given who is driving the car, but I guess I would just like to see more substantial coverage of college football. Is that too much to ask?

At the end of the day, more than wanting a good football game, I want LSU to win. I'm highly biased. I'm highly invested. I can't justify it, but I could say that I need an LSU win. That wouldn't be true, but it would feel true. And that's a bit of a problem, right? When I feel like I need a time to win a game to be happy, I've got problems. I have even more problems when I'm complaining about the media coverage of said game and team.