stream of consciousness

What’s on my mind?

Sometimes I do just want my students to listen.

I like being surprised by my students, but not when they say something vulgar or they hit someone. I know it happens, but I figured they might try to hide it at least a little bit. Blatant disregard for another really makes me mad. Add pure, narcissistic egotism to the list too. (That’s what my 7th period class feels like).

I’m totally cool with my students when they think outside the box. When I “hand” them the box and they think outside of it, I get excited because then we get to have some fun. Who likes being stuck in a box anyway? Right now, though, when I “hand” them the box, they ignore the box completely and do something completely different. It makes no sense. I don’t understand it. I’ve had 26 students doing a timed focus writing in their Writing Notebooks, and then have 3 guys listening to music on the computers or walking across class to talk to a friend. I could understand drawing, or not writing, or even reading a book.

What has just occurred to me is that I am changing. Dear Lord, please help me to not become “that” teacher. For the most part, I’m cool with students doing a bit of chatting, as long as they whisper and can still do whatever I’m asking of them. Lots of times, that chatter is important for some students to process and think aloud through an assignment. But lately, I’ve noticed that I’m being a bit harsh about every little thing, and that’s just not me. The students need some leeway right now. As I write this, I hate phrases like “whatever I’m asking of them” and “’hand’ them the box.” Why can’t I have my students set their own goals and objectives, and then determine how to meet those goals? Is that doable in a room of 29 to 32 8th graders? Can someone out there tell me?

I want to get to know my students. I want my students to get to know one another. I want my students to work toward independence. When they walk into my class, a structure should be in place that supports their learning, without totally directing it. They determine the direction. Is this possible?

I liken my goal as a reading instructor to that of a connector or a bloodhound. I simply want to connect readers to texts in a meaningful way. Students are given books to read on a regular basis. I don’t want to give anything to anyone; I want to help students find what they’re looking for, even if sometimes they don’t know what they’re looking for. And if I can connect readers with one another in meaningful ways, so that conversations take place, so that questions are raised, so that solutions are sought, then I would be really happy too. I’ve found that, sometimes, in an effort to connect a reader to a text, it is first important to connect the reader to another reader. That added connection sometimes makes the connection to a text easier and stronger at the same time. I’ve used the word sometimes quite a bit, because I’ve also found that there is no absolute when it comes to human beings.

When it comes to my goal as a writing instructor, I’m at a bit of a loss. Basically, I think of writing as a journey on this really long path. When I look at my own path, I see that I was a good writer when I was young, but only when writing essays and arguments. Those were things that I enjoyed engaging in because it was about organization, it was about research and synthesis, it was about reading and learning and then taking that and putting it together to say something meaningful. I’m pretty sure I first learned that when I was in 8th grade and had to write an essay on either The Crucible or Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller. I had to write a paper on both of those plays, but I don’t remember which one was in 8th grade. I didn’t quite understand the grammar and sentence level complexities and creativity that is available to writers until I got into college and started taking foreign languages. When I had to break down Greek into phrases and then translate it, I began to gain the ability to think of my writing in English in the same way. So now, often, I’m thinking of English in words and phrases rather than sentences and paragraphs. Maybe that’s why it’s hard for me to write longer pieces. How does this relate to me as an English/writing teacher? I’m not sure.

When it comes to my writing instruction, I simply want to point the way for those that I teach; I liken myself to Google Maps and Wal-Mart. There are lots of paths that writers can take. They should get to choose. I want to be there to say, “OK, this is where you’re going. Let me show you three ways to get there. You choose which you think is best.” That’s what I want to happen in my classroom. When my students start writing, I want to have a conversation with them that helps them along their way. Whatever tools or supplies they need, I can help them get. Whatever direction they need in how to get there, I can provide. Maybe that is a pretty narcissistic, egotistical thing for me to think, but I guess that’s how I want to think of myself. Maybe it would be a whole lot better if I were able to help them be the Google Maps and Wal-Mart for each other. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that would be much better. First I need to get there though. 

not what I intended

I wrote a bunch with my students today, and some of it was really good. I intended to post that writing here, but I guess that'll have to wait for another time. 

After school though, I had a meeting with the other Comm. Arts teachers in the building. One thing we talked about was assessment. Then I counted, and by my calculations, my group of 8th graders this year will have to take eighteen assessments this year. 

1. Language Arts Performance Series test - September, January, May

2. Reading Performance Series test - September, January, May

3. Science Performance Series test - September, January, May

4. Math Performance Series test - September, January, May

5. District Middle School Writing Assessment - Beginning of Year and End of Year

6. Explore Test - October

7. Communication Arts MAP test - March/April

8. Math MAP test - March/April

9. Science MAP test - March/April

Eighteen. I think I've got them all. If that's not ridiculous, please tell me what it is. 

what a long day

1. Go to Matt's baptism at an Orthodox church. 

2. Eat lunch. 

3. Go to Springfield Cardinals game with Life Group. 

4. Do school stuff.

That was basically my day. It seems really easy to boil it down to a few things. I need to add a few more. 

1A. (before #1) Pick Kristin up from her house.

1C. (after #1, before #2) Relax.

4B. Drop Todd off at his car. 

4C. Shop for groceries. 

4D. Drop Kristin off at home.

4E. Take a nap.

That doesn't seem like very much either. Why am I so tired?

Looking back on the morning, what started out with such wonderful potential was spoiled, and I don't know who to blame it on other than me. Kristin and I weren't quite sure what we were walking into in attending Matt's baptism. I kept thinking that it was going to be something very "Catholic," which I was totally cool with. I've liked attending Catholic mass every since Holy Cross, but I'd never been to an adult baptism. Well, it wasn't "Catholic." It was far from it. 

Our first experience was hilarious. We walked in the door and could immediately tell that it was a Greek Orthodox church. Neither of us had any experience with the liturgy. Kristin texted Matt, and we finally made our way in to meet him and for a quick run-down of what to expect. 

Quickly thereafter there were preparations made and rituals presented prior to the baptism. Three were baptized: a baby girl, Matt, and an older gentleman. The baby was baptized first, and she swallowed quite a bit of water. There were a few tense moments before she would cry after being dunked three times in quick succession. When she did finally cry, there was huge relief from the whole crowd, which maybe numbered about 30. 

Matt was pretty emotional prior to his baptism, and I could tell, even though I had only met the guy that morning, that it meant a lot to him. That was cool to see. After everyone was baptized, the priest offered a short sermon while those baptized changed. There were a few more ritual steps to complete before the process was completed. The priest said something wonderful and almost discouraging, but purposeful in his sermon. He said (and I paraphrase), "I wish I could say that this step means that these three lives are going to be easier from now on. But I can't. Really, it's only the opposite. Life is only going to be more difficult for them. The world is only going to complicate their thinking."

Later in his sermon, during the full liturgy, he reiterated this point. He spoke of a steadfastness of faith, and a new life through baptism. I remember thinking, "I'm not going to come to this church every again, but if this dude was a writer, I would totally read his stuff. I should ask him if he has a blog or a newsletter or something." Something told me that he didn't, so I never asked. 

Anyway, I was really encouraged for the people of the church, and Matt, by knowing that this priest didn't take things easy on them. I go to a different church, and I was a bit nervous walking in those doors this morning. Walking out I was tired and felt a bit pent up (3 hours, full running time; standing and sitting in the same spot the entire time). But whenever I encounter someone who I take as genuine, and who doesn't sugarcoat life, religious or otherwise, I appreciate them. I respect them. I could be totally wrong. The dude could be a complete cheat and liar, but I don't think so. 

So what's the point of all this? Well, the experience got me thinking about a lot of things. But I was so busy with nonstop action that I didn't quite have time to write and process. That's why this time is so important. Writing everyday is helping me process my days, and my thinking. It's helping me see with new eyes the things that I experience through the day. That's pretty important, because when I see with new eyes, and I process the experience, I learn what to do and what not to do. 

I feel like when I process through writing, sometimes the dross rises to the top and sometimes the cream does. Today, I think it's the cream.

sometimes I prefer real paper

Well, here I am again, attempting, one day later, to pass off writing I've done from yesterday. It's true that I love digital. I enjoy the possibilities of composing digitally. It's the connections and adatability that I love so much. But sometimes I just prefer real paper and pencil, which is how I originally wrote this:

One step at a time. It's the name of some cheesy song, I'm sure. But it's what I did today. For seven miles. I got "sick" again yesterday, and had to take my first sick day of the school year. Not cool at all. I was a bit depressed from the whole thing, especially after a long doctor's appointment. So this morning I woke up with intentions of getting mentally right. I figured I would watch some soccer, clean the house, and waste some time on the computer. It would be like most Saturdays. But it wouldn't help me at all mentally. So I walked out the house, and down the road. And I kept walking. 

That almost makes me sound like Forrest Gump, but obviously that's not what I did. But I guess it is kind of what like I did. Except I'm not a fictional character. Anyway, I walked. I talked to myself. I sang to myself. I prayed. I recited poetry and Scripture. I thought about New Orleans and school and girls. I thought about being sick, and how it affects what I can and cannot do. 

After about a mile I thought about not knowing how long I wanted to walk, but also worrying about how long I could walk. I didn't have anything to eat that morning. I drank some water. That's it. I didn't have any money for a stop at a gas station or fast-food restaurant, although I thought about that often too. So I told myself to ignore those desires, because I couldn't fix them, and keep walking. Which is what I did. 

I walked from my house to Close Memorial Park. It is a park that I previously used to frequent on my bike. They've built a new building out there, but it didn't look finished, so I didn't really visit it. I just sat under some trees and checked my phone. It was aggravating to have my phone with me, because I was receiving texts and phone calls from concerned friends. So it was a bit of a distraction to me. But it was also a nice security blanket. 

One step at a time. That's how things are achieved. One day at a time. That's how things are dealt with. I'm of the inclination to want to accomplish something in one fell swoop. I want to deal with things and move on. But often that's not how life works. I'm finding myself in situations that require one step at a time, one day at a time. It's hard for me, who wants to go fast. Really hard. But I'm aware now of the pace. I've reminded myself, and need to continue to remind myself. Maybe through more walks. I know now what it takes, and I'm taking it one step at a time. 

highs and lows and some humanity

highs: 
Yesterday I had a good day at school. In my 7th period class, Holocaust Studies, I talked to the students about why we're actually studying the Holocaust. It's the one time in class when I set aside time for actually talking directly at the students. I never like doing it because the resources of books and videos and websites are much more effective in conveying a message, but on this occasion I had everyone's undivided attention. It was almost fun. The students had many questions, showing they were engaged and thinking about what we're going to spend time studying. 


Then we went to the Library for a book pass. I'd forgotten how cool book passes can be, but was reminded about them this summer at the OWP SI. I do book talks, and have the students do book talks, and see value there, but part of me wants to judge which is more effective at connecting students to books, and that part of me thinks that book passes are better because it puts the books in the hands of the students. But then I think about how book talks give a reader voice, to tell about a book and their experiences in reading, and that is pretty powerful. 


Well, I'm blessed to have a librarian who works really hard to provide the students with amazing books and resources. She really is great. She's written grants every year I've been teaching the class (this will be my 3rd) in order to add to the Holocaust Literature library. So, I worked with her to find a good mix of books and then placed them at different tables. The students (28) sat at different tables, looked at the books in 1 minute cycles, and then passed the books from table to table. It worked out really well. Actually, I wasn't feeling like it was working all that well, because they were pretty talkative and a bit louder than I would have liked, but the cool thing was that they were talking about the books, asking questions to one another, and telling each other about the books they had already read. Because many of the books had pictures, they were also sharing the pictures and captions (learning already). I do have my own supply of books, and two were signed by the authors: Bondi's Brother, by Irving Roth and Edward Roth, was signed by Irving Roth during my attendance at the 2008 Holocaust Educators Network Summer Seminar; Eva's Story, by Eva Schloss with Evelyn Julia Kent, was signed by Eva Schloss for my mother after a lecture at the World War II Museum in New Orleans. The students love looking at and showing off the signatures. 


The most fun moment came during the selection of books. After getting to look at the different books, I had the students rank their top three. I showed off the book, and then had those who wanted it check the book out. The problem came when multiple people wanted a book that we only had one copy of. This turned into a great problem for me to have. Students were competing, making cases, for why they wanted the book more and why they should be the one to get to check it out. It also allowed the Librarian and I to connect students with other, similar books. The experience was a bit wild and frenzied because it was happening at the end of the day and I wanted everyone to get to check out, and it certainly could have gone better if I had maybe 5 more minutes, but that's the way things go. On Monday we'll talk about the reading schedule and they'll get set up with wiki pages to share about their books. I'm really excited, and hope that they keep the enthusiasm. 


lows:
I didn't blog about this experience yesterday, which means that I'm the first to lose out on blogging every day of the school year. Thankfully, Sara is really patient with me. I'm trying to blog from school, before I leave, but things weren't working out for me. I left later than normal, without blogging, and headed over to hang out with Casey and Keri. It had been a while since we've done that, and it was really good for me. Then I forgot to blog.


Then this morning I woke up feeling lousy. I've been dealing with some crazy stomach issues that I won't go into, but I will simply tell that I puked enough this morning to scare me. It wasn't one of those, "I'll-puke-and-feel-better-after" pukes either. This happened as I was going out the door to school, so when I arrived at school I asked the secretary to get me a sub as soon as she could, and she was super nice about everything. THANK YOU, ROBIN! I left school around 8:30 to go home before a 10:30 doctor's appointment--the 3rd in 7 days. Not cool. Running more tests, getting more and more invasive, having more scary conversations; it all left me cold and uncomfortable. I walked out of the doctor's office feeling so lonely and tired that I totally broke down in my car. I wept for at least 10 minutes, not knowing how to feel better, how to be healthy. This totally sucks. I didn't even get to finish my first week of school because of this junk. I'm not happy because I don't feel good, I'm legitimately sick according to the doctor but he can't figure out why, and things are now affecting my job. I hate this. 


So there it is. Sorry I had to lay that out there. It wasn't my original intention for this to be some personal blog, but I'm human. My humanity affects my ability as a teacher.

writing with my students

I wrote with my students today. I vividly remember thinking, as I sat with them at the tables, "This is what I missed yesterday." And I was so right. First period is a bit behind, so I didn't get anything substantive with them, although I did do the Found Poem activity with them. I needed some time to just write, and although we only wrote for 8 minutes, it was good for me and them. Sharing was cool too, but I'll have to put those pictures up on the class website. 

I provided prompts, after we talked about different successful teams. I brought up teams such as the New York Yankees and Chicago Bulls (actual sports teams), as well as Metallica, the New York Fire Department, the design and construction team of Extreme Home Makeover, and those who work at Mission Control at NASA. The students brought up the sports teams at PV, as well as the band there and other bands that they liked a lot. Oddly enough, one student actually brought up the NASDAQ stock exchange and described the traders and everyone on the floor, but I think he was making a connection to NASA and thinking of the NYSE floor. Anyway, below are the prompts.

• What makes a good team?
• When have you enjoyed being on a team? Why?
• What type of a team would you like to be on? Why?

Keri brought up a good point in her response to my previous post. I probably need to probe more specifically regarding the actions of the team and teammates, rather than broadly address "a good team." I will admit that I love language and am very attentive to what I the words I use, but I'm not all that good at asking questions, especially unbiased ones. Sometimes I think that I want a biased question, especially with 8th graders, but other times (like when I'm challenged by Keri) I realize that certain questions elicit certain responses, and that's not necessarily good. So maybe we'll consider actions of a team and teammate--like shared interests in writing specifically with regard to identifying and developing topics/genres to write about/in, peer conferences, sharing work space, publishing and positive feedback. 


I've got a lot to think about, and a lot to consider with my students. Casey and Amy had a really neat Cinchcast about teacher/student feedback with regard to writing, and I think I'll have to relisten to that, and probably bring that question to my students too. 

I'm uninspired

I'm uninspired. I only want to sleep. I've just finished watching a special about the Saints' preseason training camp, and then a documentary, "Jordan Rides the Bus." I'm about to take a sleeping pill in an attempt to pass out.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about September 9. I've been doing a lot of thinking about September 15-17. I haven't been doing enough thinking about today or tomorrow with my kids. That's because I'm being selfish with my own time and doing what I want with it.

Our schedule at school has changed, and honestly I don't even know what it is. We've got a new program for taking attendance and doing grades, and I don't feel comfortable with it. I'm still trying to sort out issues with seating arrangements and seating charts and outlets and space for computers. It's all the tools that I'm trying to use the right way that are somehow distracting me from the real goal, interacting with students in meaningful ways.

I want my students to think deeply this year. I want them to stare off into space, to write in order to process, and to ask questions like, "What about ... " or "What if ... " or "Why don't ... " because I know they're anticipating something, they're thinking ahead and considering the possibilities. I want them to work with their teams to think things through in conversation. I want to trust them enough to allow the conversation to wander just enough to keep things interesting.

Tomorrow, I want to consider what teams look like and how they act together. I want them to tell me about a time when they've been on a successful team--a family that worked well together, a sports team winning a game, a band cranking out an amazing song, a group of friends achieving something totally amazing like scoring the perfect slushies at the gas station on a hot Saturday afternoon. Teams come in all shapes and names, and it's not just sports.

I don't know what I really need to do tomorrow. I left school thinking that I need to tighten up some things, mostly simple procedures like passing papers out, turning things in, dismissing the class, transitions from one thing to another--these things play a huge role in the use of instructional time with any group of learners, let along middle-schoolers. I do have to continue to go over the emergency procedures, because we've got drills coming up on Thursday and Friday. I do want to remind them of little things, like pushing their chairs in when they leave class, and keeping the computers neat with regard to how they leave the keyboard, mouse, and monitor. A lot of that stuff has to do with (1) not being in a rush because your teacher is dismissing you late, and (2) being considerate. Sure, we could ask ourselves the question, "Do we every NOT have time to be considerate?" But I must remember that I'm dealing with students who are 13 and 14 years old.

So, we started the Found Poems in 2, 3, and 4 periods. I'll start it in 1st and finish it in all. I want the students to see what it looks like when they all have voice that is equal, when they all contribute something to a whole that cannot be taken apart. I want to show them how to take the Found Poem, and make a further Found Poem by slashing out or blacking out words. I think that would be a lot of fun. I think it would also be most interesting to ask them about how they chose the words to keep and how they chose the words to toss, and why. If they can address each of those, then the deep thinking is actually happening. I'm pretty sure that thoughtful self-awareness is not 8th graders strong suites.

After the Found Poem, we'll go over emergency procedures, and then talk about being on great teams. And then we'll write. We'll share our stories with our teams, and we'll develop community through it all. I do really want the students to develop an awareness and regard for the theme, which might mean that their attitude changes as well. That would be great.

Until next time, good luck!

this is the definition of mundane

Today I had to get an ultrasound done. I've been having some issues with intense stomach pains, and been really pukey. Last Thursday I went to the doctor and he gave me some prescription, and then he wanted to run more tests. 


I'm convinced doctors approach people the same way mechanics approach cars, the same way "computer guys" approach computer problems, the same way plumbers approach toilets and sinks. They (doctors, if you're not keeping up) don't quite know what it wrong, so they try a bunch of different things out, and each time they can cross something off the list they get closer to making the right diagnosis, or choosing the right answer. This is why the show House is fairly popular: really smart people with problems of their own arguing about what the diagnosis is, and putting patients through the most bizarre tests ever. 


In order for the ultrasound to be effective (they wanted to be able to look at my gallbladder), I had to fast food and drink for 12 hours. The appointment was at 10:45 am this morning; you do the math. So after leaving KK's house at about 10:15, I immediately went to McDonald's (not my first choice, but they were open on a late Sunday night) for two McChicken sandwiches, both of which had more mayonnaise on them than chicken, a small water (free), and a small strawberry-banana smoothie. I wanted to make sure I got some good protein, but also had enough liquids and fruits to carry me over. The meal was ok, except for all the ridiculous mayonnaise, but I reminded myself that it was McDonald's. 


I didn't got to bed until about 12:15, and I was super thirsty. I knew that mentally I was beating myself up over being so thirsty, so I just went to sleep. This super short test was revealing to me how strong my desires were, but also were helpful in reminding me of self-control. 


When I woke up this morning, the small water I had ordered from McDonald's was still on the counter, and sweating. This meant it was still cool. I wanted some water so bad, but I didn't even take the previous prescription the doctor told me to take--I refrained from everything. The temptation was strong, but I reminded myself what I was hoping for, and what I was doing this stupid short fast for. 


I went to school from 7:30-10:00, where I got a lot done, and again was tempted to eat some cheap foods. The PTSA had brought breakfast for the teachers, and were providing us with shirts. I avoided the breakfast time, and didn't go down there until about 9:00. Still, food was on the table and people immediately began asking where I had been. After informing them that I couldn't eat, they played it cool. I was helpful for this. 


The rest of the day was easy. My stomach growled and grumbled all the way up until the appointment. But by the time I had made it to St. John's I was totally fine. I was nervous and scared about the test, and not sure where I was going. That nervousness overpowered any feelings of hunger. The temptation to eat had ended; the temptation to break down out of nervousness took precedence. 


While at St. John's Smith-Glynn-Calloway clinic I realized that I'm not around old people much, and old people creep me out. That's a terrible thing to say, and I realize that. That's why I'm writing it. So I have to process it. Well, none of my grandparents are still alive. I don't have any older friends here in Springfield. I haven't really participated in any outreach to older people, who somehow mostly live in communities in America. I work with young people; hang out with young people; volunteer with young people. I rarely ever see old people. But today, I saw a lot of old people. I had so many thoughts running through my head: "I never want to get old." "I have to stay healthy." "I don't want to look like that." "If I'm lonely at 30, maybe 75 won't be so bad. By then I'll be used to it." "I must stay healthy." And on and on the thoughts ran through my head. I even tweeted about it, which my brother responded to. 


I don't know how to deal with this. Maybe I should seek out interactions with older community members, in the effort to connect with them. They must be fairly wise, with all the age. They must have some really neat stories to tell. I guess I'm scared of sickness and uncleanliness. I need to get over that. I need to realize that old does not mean sick and unclean. The problem is, for so many people, that is what it means. And that sucks. 

an attempt at connecting

I wrote this email today and sent it to all of the 2010 Ozarks Writing Project Summer Institute participants. It was pretty exciting reading Sarah Keeth's blog. Part of what I'm identifying as a desire of mine is connecting people with one another in meaningful ways so that good work can happen. Sometimes people are hesitant to make those connections. Sometimes people don't know that the opportunities are there. Sometimes people think they are the only ones thinking or experiencing "that," whatever "that" is. I want to help people connect to one another. Yep, that's really it. From there, if they're really interested in becoming better people, or better teachers, or better writers, or better learners, or better _______________, then they'll work together.

Margaret Wheatley, in Turning to One Another, says, "When a community of people discovers that they share a concern, change begins. There is no power equal to a community discovering what it cares about." And later, "Somewhere in the description of how it all began is the phrase: 'Some friends and I started talking...'" (p. 26).

I want to connect people, to foster conversations. I guess the email below is one attempt at doing that.

Hello all!

I know that for some the school year has begun, and for others the start is very near. I hope that the experiences from this summer’s SI are fresh in your minds and supporting your plans this year.

With all of the planning and thinking that we do as teachers, we know that things didn’t end on July 9th. I’m looking forward to seeing each of you on September 27th for our renewal, and to hearing wonderful stories of how you are using what you’ve learned in the SI.

The renewal isn’t the only way to stay connected though. Remember the Ning is always a click away. Just today I read Sarah Keeth’s wonderful blog post, “So many ideas… Where do I begin?” and was challenged with each of her points.

I want to use her blog to remind everyone of some things. #5 for Sarah is “to keep communicating with the incredible people.” The Ning is a great way to stay connected. Also, many of you are on Twitter. I recommend we use each of these resources to maintain the connections we developed in the summer.

#6 for Sarah is “I need to keep writing.” I hope each of you feel the same way. I’m so glad that Sarah chose to write and share her thoughts with us. Writing groups would be a wonderful way to keep each other accountable, without big, ugly deadlines. Sara Allen and I have been reminding each other, and checking in on each other, since we’ve begun blogging and writing everyday. Below I’ve listed personal/professional blogs of some involved (and I know that some of you are not going to be happy I’m doing that, but I’m sharing anyway). I would love to help people get connected to develop writing groups by using blogs. And if you need/want help setting up a blog, just let me know. I’ll help with that too.

Sara Allen - http://saraallen91.blogspot.com/
Casey Daugherty - http://journey2learn.blogspot.com/
Cody Walker – http://www.popgunchaos.com/
Keri Franklin - http://writingteacher.blogspot.com/
Thomas Maerke - http://mundanebrain.blogspot.com/

There may be others out there that I’m not remembering. If you do have a blog and want to share, let us know.

Have a great beginning of the year. I look forward to seeing you in September.

We're All on the Same Team

Yes, this is a Verizon commercial, but there are elements that illustrate some of the things we want to achieve this year at Pleasant View. At first, our theme was going to be “We’re All in this Together” but it was decided that this saying could be negative just as much as positive. If we’re all on a sinking ship, we’re all on it together. Pleasant View is not a sinking ship, and we know that, but the theme was changed anyway. Now, our theme is “We’re All on the Same Team.” Teamwork is important in any community hoping to achieve great things. And we hope to achieve great things at Pleasant View this year.

In the commercial, characters mention that they make “communities,” “tomorrow,” and “lives” (among other things) better. How do they do it? They bring together “information,” “people,” “devices,” “machines,” “perspectives,” “expertise,” and “ideas.” Notice that many different things must come together, to work in tandem (or on a team) for one purpose, in order to make even a few things better.

At Pleasant View, and especially on the 8^th grade team, we strive to bring people, perspectives, ideas, information and expertise together. Many times that involves devices and machines available to us through eMINTS. Almost all the time, the devices and machines must come together with the people for the learning community, the lives involved, and our tomorrow, to be better.

I realize this is maybe oversimplifying things, and maybe I’m being a bit clichéd and maybe commercializing education by using Verizon’s commercial, but I think there is a message to be gleaned. I’m looking forward to this coming school year. I’m looking forward to working with new 8^th graders, and helping them connect and collaborate with one another. I’m looking forward to seeing their expertise come out, and for them to share their perspectives and ideas. And I’m looking forward to all of these things making each and every one of us, and our tomorrows, better.

from a phone conversation with my friend Josh

"Maybe this is brokenness."

processing the day

When looked at from afar, I’m not that bad. It’s up close, after getting to know me, and really looking at me, that people most often realize that I’m not all that special. Like the shiny new technology or the cool new toy, at first, I’m appealing. But then the novelty wears off.

This is how I feel today.

This morning, at the SPS district Communication Arts Curriculum Institute—fancy name for 4 hours worth of workshops—I presented twice. First, I shared about Twitter to a small, but very engaging group of teachers. I was told by those in the building (Central High School) that Twitter was available and “open” for use, and that it would be for the workshop, but it wasn’t. This meant that “getting our hands dirty” by making accounts and exploring people to connect to was impossible. Luckily, some brought their smartphones, and were able to set up accounts via their phone, and even download an app for use. In reflection, a huge glitch did occur, but overall I feel like it went amazingly well. Everyone was talking, sharing with one another, asking questions, and I was able to show some really cool stuff. Huge thanks must go to everyone for simply doing your thing on Twitter. I’m really excited about the idea that 12 new teachers in our district will be using Twitter to connect to other teachers and share their own learning and experiences through the medium.

Second, I presented with Keri. Now every time I try to describe this “thing” that we presented on, I have a really difficult time, because I guess I’m not looking at the big picture and I’m more looking at all of the little details. I’m more jumbled, like JFK, rather than specific, like Abe Lincoln. Essentially, the OWP is partnering with SPS regarding assessment driven writing instruction. That’s the best, and simplest way I’ve ever described it. The professional development that we are offering is also part of a research study. Because of the research study aspect, we had to be very careful how we worded things; we could not and cannot be coercive in any way. Basically we tried to describe things in the most wonderful way positive, and hope that people bought in. It’s what teachers do on a regular basis, and it’s not easy.

We’ve invested loads and loads of time and effort into this project already, and we finally were given an opportunity to present our thinking and ideas to the people. It’s kind of like what a teacher does through the year, especially a first year teacher. I remember I spent so much time through the summer, before my first year of teaching, thinking and reading and planning and imagining what things would be like. Then finally, when the day rolled around, very little of it resembled what I imagined. Well, today, some of it did resemble what I imagined, but now, with hindsight, I see that all of our plans, no matter how convincing and worthwhile they seem to me, mean nothing to anyone outside of my own brain.

I was comfortable and relaxed as I sat and talked with the teachers. I didn’t engage them on a personal level enough, I know that and I knew that. Keri is much better at that, and much more intentional about it. I knew that I wasn’t going and meeting them, and engaging them. I did this on purpose, and do this on purpose, and now looking back, maybe it was wrong. I didn’t want to force myself into a conversation, nor did I want to pretend to be interested in some contrived conversation simply because I was there. Also, I know the divide shouldn’t be present, but a divide was present in the room. If you weren’t recognized, then you weren’t really welcomed into the circle. I’m cool with that. In fact, I almost encourage that. And that’s what I need to correct. I’m the type of person that values an atmosphere that drives people together, and I think today, through how things were presented by Denise, that’s what happened. That’s how I read the room, so I didn’t actively engage in conversation.

Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to do. Maybe, as part of this whole “teachers teaching teachers” thing, I should have more intentionally connected to the teachers, introduced myself and met them. Honestly though, if I would have done that, I think I would have felt like a politician, working the crowd and schmoozing. Anyone who knows me knows that that is something I could not do. It is something that I would not do. Even if that isn’t what I would have been doing, the fact is, it’s what I would have felt like I was doing. So I didn’t do it. I will admit that, as I watched Keri meeting and connecting with many of the teachers, I thought about how that’s what Keri does. She meets people. She engages in conversation with anyone. I never know if she’s trying to win people over, or if she’s genuinely interested in them. I guess I’m not that interested in some people.

There’s still a lot to be mined from today’s experiences. There’s still a lot to be processed. I would love to talk about this with others, to hear what others think. Honestly, I would love to be able to sit down with some of the people at each of the sessions to simply talk about things, to hear about how some of the teachers want to use Twitter, or hope to use Twitter. I want to get honest and critical feedback about how much they got out of the session. I would love to sit down with those teachers who are choosing not to participate in the PD or in the research study and simply listen. I want to hear what they have to say. I really want them to talk me through what they think would be worthwhile for their time. I’m less interested in why they don’t want to participate in this PD, and more interested in what type of PD they would be interested in. And I would also like to sit down with some teachers who are participating in the PD in order to gauge what they expect, and what they hope to get out of it. I want to listen to them also.

Listening is powerful. It gives people voice. It empowers them. I guess I feel like, so often, teachers aren’t given voice, or aren’t empowered. As teachers, we see what buy-in and confidence can do for our students. Confidence is what I call a “game-changer,” especially for 8^th graders, living during some of the most insecure, self-doubting times of life. Listening to a kid does wonders. Helping a kid grow more confident in himself/herself, truly in themselves and not in what they just accomplished or in what they can accomplish but because they live and breath and exist and should be confident—that changes things. Why can’t we see this need in ourselves, or in other teachers?

Yes, 8^th grade is hard because of how unsure we are as adolescents and how awkward everything seems, but life is pretty hard too. I can remember when I went to college, the thought struck me, “This is the first time my parents have ever had a son in college, and a son who hasn’t lived close to home.” That thought revealed to me how hard life could be and was for them. Sure, I wasn’t exactly sure of what I was doing; I was the one moving 700 miles away to go to college. But they were also allowing me/helping me do that, and they were dealing with their own issues because of it. Even thought they were adults, they didn’t know how everything would work out; life was hard for them too.

Why can’t we realize, as adults, as teachers, that we need voices, and we need confidence? Why can’t we slow down, or carve out time, to listen to one another and to support one another? It’s always easier to gripe and complain. This year, I want to stop taking the easy road. This year, I’m ready to learn more than I teach. This year, things are going to be different, and I want to be a change-agent, not only for my students, but also for teachers in my building and in my district.

the big "C" or one of the scariest things I can think of

Cancer. Saying it's scary is obviously an understatement.

On Monday night, Drew's dad died from an inoperable brain tumor. I found out yesterday, during a lavish dinner with wonderful people, as we shared our thoughts, our histories, and our plans for the future.

It's hard for Drew to have plans for his future. He actually quit his job. He was tired of it. I wonder how his father might think of planning for the future.

Today I sat next to Rhonda. She's already battled breast cancer. Last summer (if my timeline is correct) she found out she had a brain tumor. They operated on her to cut it out, but, as far as I know, they also put her through radiation. Late in July of this summer she found out that pieces of the older tumor probably remained, and are now growing. One doctor has told her to wait for 3 months--then they can decide if they operate or do radiation treatment. Another doctor wants to laster cut that sucker out and be done with it. Both of those scenarios scare me. Rhonda's having a hard time planning for school. She doesn't even know if she should be planning her life, and yet she goes on.

God bless Drew and his family. God bless Rhonda and her family.

I'm late again, but I'm still up so it counts for today

Today I wanted to post something from all this Twitter crap that I've been writing and working on, but I wrote it in Word and the formatting is giving me such fits that I absolutely will not post it here. I'll be giving everyone who attends my session on Twitter for Teachers the link to a Google Doc which will serve as a resource when they leave. It's a ridiculously long and dense handout, which is why I'm going to tweet the link out to those who are following me. Only those interested will seek it out and use it. And that's how I want it to be.

Today I worked with the OWP LSRI VI research team. It's super weird for me to write, but I'll be leading the professional development. We worked from 9:00-4:30, took a break until 6:00, when we had dinner and continued our conversation. It was a completely exhausting day. At 4:30 I came home to read and watch soccer. I couldn't nap, because if I did I would have slept for five hours.

It was an amazing time for work with some wonderfully smart and nice people. Linda Friedrich from the NWP office came to talk us through this whole thing, and her assistance will prove to be invaluable, I'm sure. A new book which she just coauthored has come out, How Teachers Become Leaders, and she shared it with us. It was amazing getting to pick her brain as we sat at the same table and shared donuts and thoughts on research. I'm so blessed.

Two things stand out to me as impressive:

(1) We somehow gel. Even though that's the first time this entire team has been together, although we've worked in some capacity with one another, we get along really well. There were very fast introductions all around, and then we got to work. We weren't scared to disagree with one another, or to ask tough questions. I wasn't scared to ask questions that I thought might be dumb--and that's a pretty good indicator of the acceptance and climate in the room. We laughed at goofy jokes together. We talked about Twitter and Facebook--and more importantly, internet privacy and transparency. It was a great time.

(2) I was the only "dude" on the team, and I hope to remedy that. Also, I feel woefully undereducated sitting at a table with three Ph.D.s and a teacher who has been at it for more than twenty years. I'm going into my fifth year, and I just finished my Masters. Rarely, if ever, have I found myself in a majority when it comes to education situations. I'm starting to really know and understand how prevalent it is in my thinking and awareness, and I'm really wishing that I could be part of a majority at some point. I had a great time learning from these wonderful professionals, and working with them was challenging in a positive way. It would just be nice to have some other dudes around.

This one’s inspired by the Good Book

“A time is coming and has now come.”

These are words attributed to Jesus throughout the Gospel of John. I quote them often, mostly to myself, as a reminder that the time for procrastination has passed. There is no more time. Action must be taken now. In fact, it’s too late for action. I’m feeling like this in so many areas of my life.

Yesterday, at the Life Group (a small group from the church I attend) I lead, a guy who I’ve become very close to, told us that his dad had hours to live. His father has been suffering from a brain tumor for almost a year now, and the end is here. The doctors allowed the family to take him home, where he has now been unconscious for three days. As I type this, I have not heard word how things have gone. This friend shared the news with us, a group that includes three teachers (decent at handling sudden truths) and two counselors (both very good at their jobs), and we were shocked into silence. “A time is coming and has now come.”

Tomorrow begins my final week of preparations before the beginning of my fifth year of teaching. After year one, I figured I could do this for the rest of my life, even if I sucked at it. Now, it’s weird to think that I’ve made it five years. I’ve got meetings all the way until Tuesday, when the students will finally be asked to break their leave and return to the cinderblock city. My responsibilities are growing and changing, and honestly, I’m scared out of my mind. There are so many things that I want to do well, and people that I want to impress, or at least not let down, that I’m almost overcome with anxiousness. “A time is coming and has now come.”

I just got off the phone with a wonderful person, who I’ve only known for a short time, but with whom I feel oddly connected. This is the first time I’ve written about this relationship development, but with this quote in my head, I cannot deny the kernel of an idea ready to pop. I need to process, but I don’t know if I’m ready to publicly. “A time is coming and has now come.”

These scenarios all scare me in one way or another, but they also hold immense hope. Why is it that such a paradoxical statement, like, “A time is coming and has now come” so completely encompasses my confusion on these matters. Lord, I wish I knew the answers.

I kept writing about Twitter today. It's a way for me to figure out what I want to say in my presentation on Thursday. I'm going to finish up the handout tonite. Here is what I processed through today though. It's pretty ridiculous, but it was a decent chunk of writing time.

Twitter is a social networking tool, which means people develop social connections. The descriptor “social” doesn’t need to carry a negative connotation though.

Like many things, teachers have found a way to use twitter as a tool to our benefit, and for two reasons: teaching can be isolating, and teachers love free stuff. By following good teachers and administrators on Twitter, we open up a door to what is happening around the country and the world in other classrooms. The transparency that is achieved through sharing thoughts and practices works against the isolating feelings that can accompany teaching.

No longer do teachers beg, borrow, and steal ideas and resources for use in the classroom. That’s a one-way street, with no reciprocity. Now, we collaborate. Teachers share ideas and resources in conversation; it’s a two-way street involving reciprocity.

I’m the only 8^th grade English teacher in my building. I’m one of three English teachers in my building. Counting the Librarian and the “At-Risk” educator, there are five people that I can go to for ideas and resources. That’s not very many, no matter how good they are. Through connections on Twitter, I have access to exponentially more educators in my field; the potential for collaboration is immense. Why would I not use this?

On Twitter, I propose there are two different types of interactions: friendship-driven and interest-driven.* We’re interested in becoming better teachers. We’re interested in using new and innovative tools in meaningful ways. We’re interested in engaging in meaningful conversations about what we teach and how we teach it. The connections established on Twitter allow for all of this.

As teachers, we’re probably not initially going to use Twitter for friendship-driven interaction, but as use increases, I’ve found that there’s a recursive process between the social (friendship-driven) and the professional (interest-driven). This doesn’t happen in every scenario, but it can and will happen.

I first met @poh on Twitter because I tweeted about reading a book. He asked me to write a book review on it, which I did. Then I met him f2f in Washington D.C. at a conference, and there we began hanging out. There he asked me to write something about Twitter, so he invited me to a writing retreat in Austin, TX, where we hung out more. Now I would say he’s a friend. We joke about football and baseball. We’re not great friends. The social connection grew from the professional connection, but in life that is how many things happen. First you teach down the hall from someone, then maybe if you’re ladies you have a shopping day together, or if you’re guys you go to a Springfield Cardinals game.

So, Twitter increases the number of meaningful connections available to us as educators, thus increasing the potential for collaboration. Two questions should then immediately arise: Who do I connect to/with? How do we collaborate? Both of these questions are very good questions. First, I recommend you connect with those you know. The follow up question to this: why would I need to connect and collaborate with these people through Twitter if I can connect and collaborate with them without it? Again, good question. The answer: because it’s easier. Second, I recommend you connect with those you admire, and then with those who they follow. So, if you love webquests then you should follow @BernieDodge, and probably some of the people he follows, based on the tweets. If you find yourself emphasizing independent reading your classroom, you may want to follow @donalynbooks and @paulwhankins, and probably some of the people they follow, based on the tweets. If you find yourself emphasizing current events and social justice in your classroom, you may want to follow @paulallison (and listen to his weekly Wednesday evening podcast), and some of the people he follows, based on the tweets.

Once you begin to share your own ideas and resources with others, you are collaborating. Connections can happen even when you don’t bring anything to the table. This is often called listening or lurking on Twitter, and it’s totally acceptable especially early on.

One significant way that collaboration occurs is through chats, which usually happen on a weekly basis focused on a topic question. One of the best chats, #edchat, is held on Tuesdays at 11 am and 6 pm CST and covers broad categories regarding education. Specific to English is #engchat, held on Mondays at 6 pm CST. There is also #yalitchat, held on Wednesdays at 8 pm CST, and #kidlitchat, held on Tuesdays at 8 pm CST. During these chats, you will find people who make very intelligent statements (and those who don’t) and who link to very interesting articles/videos/blogs (and those who don’t). Because of this, they’re great places to connect with people (meaning meet people to follow).

There’s much more that goes into Twitter, like understanding compositional conventions, trending topics, or using management systems, but this write-up certainly isn’t meant to be comprehensive. If you have questions, email me.

*The two types of interactions are borrowed from Hanging out, messing around, geeking out: Kids living and learning with new media by Mizuko Ito, et. al.

I promise

I wrote this yesterday, I promise. I'm working on a piece on Twitter, which I've been working on for too long to admit. I'm now doing an hour long presentation on Twitter for other English teachers in the district. It's funny, and not at all exciting. I wish I could figure out why. That would be something worth writing. Well, yesterday I wrote this, and I'm not ashamed to post "work writing" on this blog to make sure that I post something everyday, even if I forget to post it that day. Yes, I make mistakes. This is more about the commitment to write everyday than to be a rule follower. So, here it is. It isn't great, but it is the portion I am willing to share. The presentation is on Thursday, so maybe then I'll writing about how everything goes.

Twitter for Teachers: A social networking tool as professional learning network

Yes, it is a social networking tool, which means people develop social connections. But like many things, teachers have found a way to use it as a tool to our benefit, and for two reasons: teaching can be isolating, and teachers love free resources. By following good teachers and administrators on Twitter, we open up a door to what is happening around the country and the world in other classrooms. The isolation can easily be broken down by transparency in practice. That transparency in practice is accomplished through the sharing of ideas and resources. No longer do teachers have to beg, borrow, and steal for something to use in the classroom, all we’ve got to do is listen and learn.

There’s two different types of interaction: friendship-driven and interest-driven. As teachers, we’re not really focusing on the friendship-driven interaction, although I think you will find that once connections on Twitter are developed through interest-driven activities, friendships will arise.

day 5 . . . and continuing

This is my fifth day in a row that I've sat down to write for this blog. Writing isn't something that I have ever done consistently, but since talking to Sara Allen at PV (and of the 2010 OWP SI) about my desire to write everyday, I've found a partner who consistently reminds me of my commitment. There have been days when I didn't remember, like today, and her reminder is necessary. There are other days (but since it's only been five, really not that many) that I've known what I wanted to write about and been itching to sit down.

Today, I want to clean. I want to lay on the couch in front of the TV, put my feet up, and fall asleep. I want to eat some of my left-over soup and allow my brain to turn into that same consistency as I flip the channels in search of God knows what. But now, I sit at my dirty dinner table and write. Mostly, I process.

I process last night and today and realize that I am incredibly blessed. I am surrounded by wonderful people, probably more so than at any other time in my life. I should qualify that statement by making an exception for family, because my family is amazing and when I was younger and we were all closer, nothing could beat us. But now, away from family and as I develop close friendships and work relationships I realize that I am so blessed to have great people in my life. I guess I'm only hoping that things continue in this pattern, and maybe somehow get even better.

just getting it done

I've done a bunch of driving today. And talking. I hate the driving, because it is so absolutely, inescapably hot. I love the talking. It's great. It's the people that make it great. Thanks to all you out there who I got to talk to today. You're great.

Keri and I are working on our "Twitter" piece, whatever it is, for the Digital Is website. I'm really excited to get back into it because it is fun working with Keri, and sharing what we know, even if the knowledge is somehow marginalized or devalued because of the timing. The Digital Is website is very cool. It's beautiful, really. I can't wait to see our work up there. I'm also imagining what other work I or we could put up on the site.

I love the fact that Christina and Kate (and the NWP) used Drupal to make the Digital Is website. And I'm really glad that the content will be user generated. It's important to have the curators there, but it's also important to see the work of regular people. Combining open source and user generated is exciting to me. It's time the high and lofty recognize the expertise present in the masses. It's time value judgments aren't made based on the name on a paper but on the quality of the work.

Civil rights is a fight for equality. It's not over. There are politicians doing all they can to make sure that access is not granted. There are intellectuals making sure that value is based on unfair assessments. Each step in the direction of granting open access and equal privileges is positive. Thank you to NWP for taking a step in that direction with Digital Is.

Now that I've gone on, Adbusters style, I'll stop. I don't know why I write this way, but it seems to always pour out of me this way.

I'm running late

If I believe in my students enough to know that they want to be better at __________ or that they simply want to be better human beings, I will trust them enough to overlook their mistakes, and I will see in them a great potential and future--NOT because I believe in them or I believe that they can be better, but because they believe in themselves and they want to be better.

The way we talk to one another, the way we approach each other, the way we encourage one another, and work with and for one another would change. And the change would be positive.

My students' learning is not dependent upon me, or the work that I do with and for them. My view, my approach, my perspective of my students and their learning will change me, but it could in turn affect them and their learning. When students believe in themselves, and want to be better, their behavior will be directed positively toward change. Students don't need me to do the believing or the wanting so that their behavior will change. That won't change anything.

"I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like"

Those are Eminem’s first words in the song “Love the Way You Lie” featuring Rihanna.

Yes, right now, I’m in love with Eminem’s rap, but I also feel like those words are appropriate. Today, I want to write about presence. I’m thinking this is only going to be a starting point for thinking/processing that will continue. Right now, I can’t quite make an objective statement, but I can tell you what I’m feeling.

I’ve always wanted to write a “This I Believe” essay based on the belief statement, “I believe presence is powerful.” I would choose two stories that I felt appropriately illustrate my belief. The stories would probably be about climbing Gray’s Peak with my mom and dad in the summer of 2009 and how important it was to my mom that I be there, or about my summertime visits with my nieces and how much I miss them and enjoy being with them, or about my student teaching experience when I promised the seniors I would be at graduation but then I didn’t go because I was sick and Tony—the first person in his family to graduate from high school—who happened to move into the same apartment complex I lived in called me out for not going. Those stories would illustrate how being present at something for someone changes things. It’s amazing that by simply showing your face and being who you are, you can influence the thinking of others, but it’s true. Or at least I believe it is.

Today, when I’m thinking about presence I’m thinking about being present in the moment. I was first encountered by this, or challenged by this idea, when in Austin at the National Writing Project Digital Literacies Resource Development Retreat. Joseph McCaleb, from the University of Maryland, challenged Keri Franklin and I with a question about presence when we were discussing our piece, which is basically all about Twitter.

Twitter is an amazing tool for connecting people and sharing ideas, occurrences, digital resources and distractions. Like all social networking sites it brings people together. By bringing people together, it can allow for a digital presence within the web of connections among those sharing common interests—followers, hashtags, etc. I would never participate in #engchat or #edchat in person, but through the use of Twitter I can be present there through my participation.

But Twitter can also pull people apart. In moments when people become distracted by checking their tweet stream, or when people attempt to record or document the moment, they are immediately pulled away from their current situation—a lecture, discussion, or baseball game. The physical presence may be enjoying the view at Kauffmann Stadium, and the hot dog may be great, but when I stop to pull out my phone, take a picture of my vantage point, and write something interesting or alluring so that my followers will want to check the tweetphoto, I’m no longer mentally present and engaged in what is happening at the game. I’m engaging in activity on that digital web of connected individuals, most or all who aren’t present at the game, thus the tweet.

So tonight, there were a few times when I checked my tweet stream while listening to a friend tell her story. Honest assessment of that: rude. I no longer was fully engaged as a listener; I did listen to her story as I read the new tweets coming in. Still rude. I didn’t send any tweets, but still I was not fully present in the moment/situation because I chose to move my presence to a digital one.

So, is it true that I can’t be present in both places? Could Twitter be pulling me away from more meaningful conversations and connections, rather than helping me establish far-fetched and far-flung ones? I don’t know that answer to that question, but it is one that I want to explore.

support and rap music

Support.

It’s a simple word that shouldn’t be underestimated.

First, a few questions:
How do I support those around me?
Do I support my friends in their interests, hobbies, jobs, beliefs?
Do I support my coworkers in their responsibilities?
Do I support my students in their learning?
Do I support exploration and discovery in those around me?

I used to think of myself as a helper, or a servant. I thought of this role as the best in the kingdom. Matthew 20:26 claims “Whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant.” In “I’ve Got a Thing About Seeing My Grandson Grow Old” Cat Stevens sings “Even sweep the roads to be there.” I always took this line and reinterpreted it my own way: I would sweep the streets to be in heaven. I would be a servant in heaven, sweeping the streets, as long as I was there.

Well, I still want to be a helper and a servant, but beyond that I want to support people in their own ventures. This makes me think of the saying: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” I like the idea of giving a man a fish, of providing what someone needs. But it would be much better to teach a man to fish, to support someone in their venture to provide for themselves.

Now, a few statements:
I want to support those around me in exploring their interests.
I want to support those around me by helping them find a focus.
I want to support those around me by advocating for them when they are misinterpreted or marginalized.
I want to support those around me when they are discouraged by obstacles or failures.



And on an unrelated note:

I like rap music a lot. Some of it is absolutely beautiful. I’m not thinking analytically right now, or I would probably start counting the syllables and examining the internal rhyme. Right now, I’m just enjoying the awesomeness of this verse. I’ve listened to it four times in a row, and now I think I’ll start the whole song over for number five. I hope you can enjoy something as much as I enjoy this.

Verse 4 – Eminem, in “Forever” by Drake, featuring Kanye West, Lil’ Wayne, and Eminem

There they go, back in stadiums as Shady spits his flow Nuts
they go, macadamian, they go so ballistic whoa
We can make them look like Bozos
He's wonderin' if he should spit this slow

Fuck no! Go for broke
His cup just runneth over, oh no
He aint had a real buzz like this
since the last time he overdosed
They've been waiting patiently for
Pinocchio to poke his nose

Back into the game and they know
Rap will never be the same as before
Bashin' in the brains of these hoes
And establishin a name as he goes

The passion and the flame is ignited
You can't put it out once we light it
This shit is exactly what the fuck
that I'm talking about when we riot

You dealin' with a few true villians
Who stand inside of the booth truth spillin'
And spit true feelings until our tooth fillings
Come flying up out of our mouths, now rewind it!

Payback muthafucka for the way that you got at me
So how's it taste? When I slap the taste outta your mouth
With the bass so loud that it shakes the place

I'm Hannibal Lecter, so just incase
You was thinkin of savin face
You aint gonna have no face to save
By the time I'm through with this place, so Drake