humility

Kobe Bryant died yesterday.
There was a helicopter crash, and in fact, several people died, including Kobe Bryant's 13 year-old daughter, Gianna, and two other middle-school age students.
This is devastating news for the families impacted. The overwhelming response to Kobe Bryant's loss reveals just how much we connect with and conjure relationships with celebrities and entertainers. It prompted a very meaningful conversation with two guys from the church that I attend. In that way, it surprised me how meaningful this loss is.

Today I went to the hospital to try to deal with a bill from our extended stay back in the summer of 2018. Hospitals traffic in death, even though they exist to prolong life. Walking away, I was reminded of how humbling hospitals are.

If you need to be reminded of the fragility of life, of the importance of your relationships, I encourage you to wake up early one morning, drive on over to the nearest hospital, and venture to the cafeteria for breakfast. Get yourself something decent and take a seat for a while. Notice those going through the line. Notice those seated and eating. Then, walk a few halls. If you don't walk away with a different perspective on the day, let alone your relationships and the things that matter to you, I will be surprised.

I'm terribly sad for Kobe Bryant's family. In the immediacy, his wife and family have to plan two funerals. Soon, his wife will probably have to connect with lawyers and financial advisers who have managed Kobe Bryant's contractual obligations and wealth. There are three living daughters surviving this death, one that is not even a year old. A mother is grieving. Daughters are certainly confused and scared. Things can change so very fast, and when they do, we all tend to be a bit more humble and thankful and kind. Wouldn't it be nice if we could remember this lesson, and walk through life each day living it out?

root canal

Yesterday I experienced a root canal. Basically, I have a bad tooth that needed a lot of work. It originally had a filling, but since I grind my teeth so much, I broke my tooth and the filling, and I've basically been without about one-third of that tooth for about six months. The root canal was necessary to seal up the nerves and make sure I don't infected, which is a bit scary to me. So, the doctor drilled out a decent-sized hole in my tooth, down to where he could get to the nerve. Then he filled the nerves with something like cement to basically kill the nerves and stop them from ever getting infection. Hopefully.

I guess I should say that I went to Dr. Newberry at Endodontics of the Ozarks. He was recommended to me by 417 Smiles.

Here's the real deal: I was really scared. I was nervous about this procedure. Honestly, I thought I might die. I thought that I needed to tell Kristin, "I love you" before I died. The situation forced me into thinking about what I wanted the last thing to be that I communicated to Kristin. It was rather surreal, in my mind, at least. I love Kristin so much, and I'm so scared of losing her, or even of her losing me.

I tried to stay calm through the whole check-in/preparation time, but my heart was racing and I couldn't stop it. When things finally started, when the doctor came, I think he could tell I was nervous. But when he really got going, I just closed my eyes, focused on steady, deep breaths, and said Psalm 23 to myself over and over.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

I remember having to write Psalm 23 over and over and over in elementary school, and I still remember it in that old translation, the King James, to this day. I said that psalm over and over in my head, and it calmed me so much. When everything was over, the doctor even said I did some "pretty serious mind-over-matter calming stuff." That made me feel good, but it also reinforced how good God is to me, and how thankful I need to be to him for his protection and comfort. 

I wanted to thank the doctor for his work, but he seriously already had another patient ready to roll. He was working so fast. I will totally recommend Dr. Newberry to anybody who asks, but I also have to recommend Jesus as well. They're both really good at what they do.