I'm running late

If I believe in my students enough to know that they want to be better at __________ or that they simply want to be better human beings, I will trust them enough to overlook their mistakes, and I will see in them a great potential and future--NOT because I believe in them or I believe that they can be better, but because they believe in themselves and they want to be better.

The way we talk to one another, the way we approach each other, the way we encourage one another, and work with and for one another would change. And the change would be positive.

My students' learning is not dependent upon me, or the work that I do with and for them. My view, my approach, my perspective of my students and their learning will change me, but it could in turn affect them and their learning. When students believe in themselves, and want to be better, their behavior will be directed positively toward change. Students don't need me to do the believing or the wanting so that their behavior will change. That won't change anything.

"I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like"

Those are Eminem’s first words in the song “Love the Way You Lie” featuring Rihanna.

Yes, right now, I’m in love with Eminem’s rap, but I also feel like those words are appropriate. Today, I want to write about presence. I’m thinking this is only going to be a starting point for thinking/processing that will continue. Right now, I can’t quite make an objective statement, but I can tell you what I’m feeling.

I’ve always wanted to write a “This I Believe” essay based on the belief statement, “I believe presence is powerful.” I would choose two stories that I felt appropriately illustrate my belief. The stories would probably be about climbing Gray’s Peak with my mom and dad in the summer of 2009 and how important it was to my mom that I be there, or about my summertime visits with my nieces and how much I miss them and enjoy being with them, or about my student teaching experience when I promised the seniors I would be at graduation but then I didn’t go because I was sick and Tony—the first person in his family to graduate from high school—who happened to move into the same apartment complex I lived in called me out for not going. Those stories would illustrate how being present at something for someone changes things. It’s amazing that by simply showing your face and being who you are, you can influence the thinking of others, but it’s true. Or at least I believe it is.

Today, when I’m thinking about presence I’m thinking about being present in the moment. I was first encountered by this, or challenged by this idea, when in Austin at the National Writing Project Digital Literacies Resource Development Retreat. Joseph McCaleb, from the University of Maryland, challenged Keri Franklin and I with a question about presence when we were discussing our piece, which is basically all about Twitter.

Twitter is an amazing tool for connecting people and sharing ideas, occurrences, digital resources and distractions. Like all social networking sites it brings people together. By bringing people together, it can allow for a digital presence within the web of connections among those sharing common interests—followers, hashtags, etc. I would never participate in #engchat or #edchat in person, but through the use of Twitter I can be present there through my participation.

But Twitter can also pull people apart. In moments when people become distracted by checking their tweet stream, or when people attempt to record or document the moment, they are immediately pulled away from their current situation—a lecture, discussion, or baseball game. The physical presence may be enjoying the view at Kauffmann Stadium, and the hot dog may be great, but when I stop to pull out my phone, take a picture of my vantage point, and write something interesting or alluring so that my followers will want to check the tweetphoto, I’m no longer mentally present and engaged in what is happening at the game. I’m engaging in activity on that digital web of connected individuals, most or all who aren’t present at the game, thus the tweet.

So tonight, there were a few times when I checked my tweet stream while listening to a friend tell her story. Honest assessment of that: rude. I no longer was fully engaged as a listener; I did listen to her story as I read the new tweets coming in. Still rude. I didn’t send any tweets, but still I was not fully present in the moment/situation because I chose to move my presence to a digital one.

So, is it true that I can’t be present in both places? Could Twitter be pulling me away from more meaningful conversations and connections, rather than helping me establish far-fetched and far-flung ones? I don’t know that answer to that question, but it is one that I want to explore.

support and rap music

Support.

It’s a simple word that shouldn’t be underestimated.

First, a few questions:
How do I support those around me?
Do I support my friends in their interests, hobbies, jobs, beliefs?
Do I support my coworkers in their responsibilities?
Do I support my students in their learning?
Do I support exploration and discovery in those around me?

I used to think of myself as a helper, or a servant. I thought of this role as the best in the kingdom. Matthew 20:26 claims “Whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant.” In “I’ve Got a Thing About Seeing My Grandson Grow Old” Cat Stevens sings “Even sweep the roads to be there.” I always took this line and reinterpreted it my own way: I would sweep the streets to be in heaven. I would be a servant in heaven, sweeping the streets, as long as I was there.

Well, I still want to be a helper and a servant, but beyond that I want to support people in their own ventures. This makes me think of the saying: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” I like the idea of giving a man a fish, of providing what someone needs. But it would be much better to teach a man to fish, to support someone in their venture to provide for themselves.

Now, a few statements:
I want to support those around me in exploring their interests.
I want to support those around me by helping them find a focus.
I want to support those around me by advocating for them when they are misinterpreted or marginalized.
I want to support those around me when they are discouraged by obstacles or failures.



And on an unrelated note:

I like rap music a lot. Some of it is absolutely beautiful. I’m not thinking analytically right now, or I would probably start counting the syllables and examining the internal rhyme. Right now, I’m just enjoying the awesomeness of this verse. I’ve listened to it four times in a row, and now I think I’ll start the whole song over for number five. I hope you can enjoy something as much as I enjoy this.

Verse 4 – Eminem, in “Forever” by Drake, featuring Kanye West, Lil’ Wayne, and Eminem

There they go, back in stadiums as Shady spits his flow Nuts
they go, macadamian, they go so ballistic whoa
We can make them look like Bozos
He's wonderin' if he should spit this slow

Fuck no! Go for broke
His cup just runneth over, oh no
He aint had a real buzz like this
since the last time he overdosed
They've been waiting patiently for
Pinocchio to poke his nose

Back into the game and they know
Rap will never be the same as before
Bashin' in the brains of these hoes
And establishin a name as he goes

The passion and the flame is ignited
You can't put it out once we light it
This shit is exactly what the fuck
that I'm talking about when we riot

You dealin' with a few true villians
Who stand inside of the booth truth spillin'
And spit true feelings until our tooth fillings
Come flying up out of our mouths, now rewind it!

Payback muthafucka for the way that you got at me
So how's it taste? When I slap the taste outta your mouth
With the bass so loud that it shakes the place

I'm Hannibal Lecter, so just incase
You was thinkin of savin face
You aint gonna have no face to save
By the time I'm through with this place, so Drake

cheating is easy . . .

FIFA's fair play policy: "Winning is without value if victory has been achieved unfairly or dishonestly. Cheating is easy, but brings no pleasure."

I'm a huge soccer fan. Everyone who knows me knows this. But this quote and this time I now dedicate to sharing an idea isn't about soccer. It's about greed in America.

Read the policy one more time. "Winning is without value if victory has been achieved unfairly or dishonestly. Cheating is easy, but brings no pleasure."

Could anyone in America, honestly, have written this? My answer: Nope. Not your local pastor or priest; not your naive, innocent, four year old nephew; not that nice old lady who has lived at the end of your street for 44 years. Everyone is corrupted.

Yes, I believe that, globally, everyone is "corrupted" in the sense that no one is perfect. But in America, land of the free and home of the brave, we could not have even conceived the idea of FIFA's fair play policy. The last sentence, should it have been written by an American, would have been much shorter: "Cheating is easy." And essentially, that would have been our entire fair play policy. It's a "We report, You decide." mentality. Beware the person who tries to make a value judgment on actions.

Cheating is easy. In sport we've seen admitted and guilty dopers awarded for their amazing feats and entertainment. *Big distinction between European sport and American sport – it’s still competitive sport there and not high impact entertainment like it is here.

Cheating is easy. In politics the rules are constantly changing to benefit the group in power, and actions aren’t even hidden. So, is it still cheating? Yes.

Lately, we've seen special interest groups buy votes from politicians eager to line their pockets. Then those same politicians sell their votes a second time through pork-barrel tactics, making sure than no bill passes without the local big businesses (and reciprocally, their own pockets) benefiting from the new bill.

Cheating is easy. In schools we've seen administrators and teachers peak into and change answers on federally mandated high-stakes tests.

In every single scenario, there is one motivator: money. That's how we define "winning" in America.

I want to live in a place, among a people, where FIFA’s fair play policy is believed in, adhered to, and protected.

BP Oil Spill

I'm slowly losing it. To those who live on the Gulf Coast, I apologize for not losing it earlier. I was slow to the party; I heard the news on twitter, kept up with what NPR (via KSMU) was reporting, and listened to my parents' stories about what they were hearing on the news. Now, I'm finally doing a bit more active listening and it's absolutely driving me nuts.

The estimated oil spill is exponentially larger than expected.

The companies involved blaim each other, on a hilarious, kindergarten finger-pointing scale.
Version 1 - Version 2 - Version 3

Major corporations that make BILLIONS of dollars a year, run by people corrupted by this amount of money, act with their "shareholders" in mind. Who else could they really care about but themselves?

Legislators pass bills that siphon money to their districts and states, while disregarding any conscionable advice from experts - claiming that they act with their "constituents" in mind. Who is going to take a stand on a tough issue, tell someone "No" and provide good reasoning for it?

Meanwhile I'm working my tail off, and the seafood that I love to eat won't be available when I head home to New Orleans and the money I need to do a decent job as a teacher isn't avaible. Am I a "stakeholder" or a "constituent" anywhere, to anyone?

I'm scared for myself, for my job, for the kids I teach, for the country I live in. Honestly. This is not good, and it is one manifestation of a problem that is present on many levels across the entire nation. Cheating isn't a bad thing anymore because those in control can change the rules to fit their desires, but that's not how the world works. Sports practices scare me, as a middle school coach. New immigration laws in Arizona scare me, as a Holocaust Studies educator.

Anybody got some good news out there? I'd like to hear it.