Tuesday, August 10, 2010

"I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like"

Those are Eminem’s first words in the song “Love the Way You Lie” featuring Rihanna.

Yes, right now, I’m in love with Eminem’s rap, but I also feel like those words are appropriate. Today, I want to write about presence. I’m thinking this is only going to be a starting point for thinking/processing that will continue. Right now, I can’t quite make an objective statement, but I can tell you what I’m feeling.

I’ve always wanted to write a “This I Believe” essay based on the belief statement, “I believe presence is powerful.” I would choose two stories that I felt appropriately illustrate my belief. The stories would probably be about climbing Gray’s Peak with my mom and dad in the summer of 2009 and how important it was to my mom that I be there, or about my summertime visits with my nieces and how much I miss them and enjoy being with them, or about my student teaching experience when I promised the seniors I would be at graduation but then I didn’t go because I was sick and Tony—the first person in his family to graduate from high school—who happened to move into the same apartment complex I lived in called me out for not going. Those stories would illustrate how being present at something for someone changes things. It’s amazing that by simply showing your face and being who you are, you can influence the thinking of others, but it’s true. Or at least I believe it is.

Today, when I’m thinking about presence I’m thinking about being present in the moment. I was first encountered by this, or challenged by this idea, when in Austin at the National Writing Project Digital Literacies Resource Development Retreat. Joseph McCaleb, from the University of Maryland, challenged Keri Franklin and I with a question about presence when we were discussing our piece, which is basically all about Twitter.

Twitter is an amazing tool for connecting people and sharing ideas, occurrences, digital resources and distractions. Like all social networking sites it brings people together. By bringing people together, it can allow for a digital presence within the web of connections among those sharing common interests—followers, hashtags, etc. I would never participate in #engchat or #edchat in person, but through the use of Twitter I can be present there through my participation.

But Twitter can also pull people apart. In moments when people become distracted by checking their tweet stream, or when people attempt to record or document the moment, they are immediately pulled away from their current situation—a lecture, discussion, or baseball game. The physical presence may be enjoying the view at Kauffmann Stadium, and the hot dog may be great, but when I stop to pull out my phone, take a picture of my vantage point, and write something interesting or alluring so that my followers will want to check the tweetphoto, I’m no longer mentally present and engaged in what is happening at the game. I’m engaging in activity on that digital web of connected individuals, most or all who aren’t present at the game, thus the tweet.

So tonight, there were a few times when I checked my tweet stream while listening to a friend tell her story. Honest assessment of that: rude. I no longer was fully engaged as a listener; I did listen to her story as I read the new tweets coming in. Still rude. I didn’t send any tweets, but still I was not fully present in the moment/situation because I chose to move my presence to a digital one.

So, is it true that I can’t be present in both places? Could Twitter be pulling me away from more meaningful conversations and connections, rather than helping me establish far-fetched and far-flung ones? I don’t know that answer to that question, but it is one that I want to explore.

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