Monday, January 25, 2010

slow

Lots of things going through my mind.
  • My growing love and appreciation of rap music.
  • My desire to create engaging, worthwhile lessons for my students.
  • My attempt to bring podcasting to my Holocaust studies class.
  • How is soccer going to work out, with all the other conflicts? And how many pissed off girls am I going to have when I tell them they can't do volleyball or track and soccer?
  • What would it be like to teach a high school class without computers but with an accessible computer lab?
  • Can I really paint my house and put things together so that I am proud of it, or am I going to need to hire painters to come in to do the work?
  • Can I paint the house, and teach, and work with the OWP, and coach soccer, and lead a Life Group, and stay sane?
  • Should I take a sick day sometime this week so that I can recover and get myself healthy and together?
  • Am I able to build a website for the OWP that is respectable, and up to standards, and useful all at the same time?
  • Can I manage the volume and diversity of emails I am now receiving with the OWP, and keep things organized by program and activity and my own responsibility?
All of these things are possible, but not all of these things are beneficial, to put my own spin on 1 Corinthians 10:23. This is basically what I'm thinking about. How do I make the tough decisions that will benefit me? How will I navigate these waters? I guess this is where my character and my true self are revealed, even in some little things.

It's been nice to reflect, and at least get some questions down on paper. My biggest question right now: how will I say to my mind that stays going and going and going that I need to go to sleep?

In other big news: THE SAINTS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL! I really would like to have my house nice for that, and have people over, but I know it won't be done. I'll still hopefully have a few people over anyway.

Monday, January 18, 2010

learning this video thing

Since I have the day off I'm playing around with my camera and noticed I had this video lingering around from January 6. I played around with it on iMovie and here it is. Nothing special, but it does show how hard it was snowing, and still we had school the next day.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

podcast, finally

Listen. It will explain.

my first podcast

rat race

Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary defines Rat Race as: strenuous, wearisome, and usually competitive activity or rush.

UsingEnglish.com defines the idiom Rat Race as: the ruthless, competitive struggle for success in work, etc.

I’ve read on blogs, nings, and tweets of the importance for me to build my Professional Learning Network. I’ve heard in lectures, meetings, and conferences of the importance of engaging within a community of learners. All that sounds great, but in practice, with all this technology, I can’t get away from the fact that it all seems like a rat race.

Who’s the first to be doing . . . in their classroom? Well, they’re on top of things, and we should be emulating them because that’s also what the kids (and, gasp, even the adults) are doing outside of the classroom – in the “real world.”

Who was the first to tweet about . . .? Well, that person gets more credit than anyone else in the entire community of tweeters who also had a hand in spreading . . . And we should all be following . . . because they tweet 400 times a day about everything they’re reading, or inspirational sayings, and they’re doing . . . in the classroom, so they’re an innovator.

Who was retweeted most on . . . because they obviously know what they’re talking about when it comes to . . .

Who is on the most #followfriday lists, or #teachertuesday lists, because you know you really do need to be following those people, because they pack so much into 140 characters on . . . that they must be an expert.

Who participates in the most #edchat discussions, or #TTT podcasts? And who asks the question that everyone is talking about in the discussion, because that person is clearly asking the right questions to their students, and that means their students are going to be smarter than . . .

Who created the . . . ning? They have gathered some great minds together and people really are talking about . . . on the site and more people should be reading and listening to and watching what’s going on there.

Did you read what . . . wrote on his blog? Did you hear who now has a blog? My goodness, I’ve been waiting for years to see what . . . has to say, and now they’re giving it to me for free, in an amazing format, and they have links and profiles and I feel like I know . . . so much better, and now I can gain so much more from their PLN too.

I’m tired of all this . . .

The world is changing. Communication is changing. Learning is changing. Education is changing. All of that seems wonderful. I am only in my fourth year of teaching, and the last three years have been as part of an eMINTS classroom with rich technology use, so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about, but it sure seems like education is a rat race.

I teach in a K-8 school, and the unwritten competition I witness on twitter, and then through blogs, nings, podcasts, and videos, seems like a race to be first at . . . You fill in the blank. I witness the same competition when I listen to my students talking about . . . in the hallways, lunchroom, and gym: whoever was the first at . . . wins an invisible crown of cool, until the next big thing rolls around. And the next big thing in the grand scheme of things isn’t that big at all, unless looking with that short-sided obsession that blinds one from all other perspectives.

I don’t want to compete. I’m really not good at competition. Usually I become increasingly nasty and mean, and I feel ugly inside because of it. Winning is supremely important to me, but it never feels that good. Losing makes me feel like an absolute waste, literally, and I usually want to throw myself away afterward. And that’s how I’ve felt the past few days as I attempted to actively participate in whatever community I was a part of out there (or rather, here) in cyberspace. No matter how much I read, no matter how many comments I left or posts I added, I never felt good about this whole thing. I felt overwhelmed, then rushed, then tired. I felt like I was part of a rat race.

I told myself, “I want to keep up with . . .” and “I’m as good as . . .” and “I’d like to try . . . in my classroom.”

I had bought in, but now I want a refund. The innovation and information will never end. The desire to keep up probably won’t either; I’m human after all. I can't just walk away though; I need to respond. Here’s my early attempt:

I don’t want to be an overnight expert at anything that is trending overnight. If that’s how long it takes to become a trend, it will probably be gone just as fast. I want to be a scholar at something that has been around long before I came into existence, and will be around long after I leave this world. There are lots of definitions for “digital divide.” My defined divide is between those who engage in multiple and pervasive technologies and those who don’t. I want to be ok with this divide, and not feel like I am less of a human being, man, teacher, or creative mind because I don’t engage in multiple and pervasive technologies.

And that’s where I stand, for today.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

from Wednesday morning

When I normally read during my devotions, I wrote on Wednesday. This is what I wrote:

I do believe a renewed drive is present within me now, and possibly three: (1) study Biblical languages, going back to school so that I could get a job at university level; (2) help grow and stabilize the OWP; (3) finish my masters degree. Were I to rank them by desire, this is how they would fall, with my desire to study Biblical languages far beyond that of completing my masters. In reality though, I need to work and complete #3 first, as I word weekly on #2 and investigate and plan for #1.

I must renew my move for teaching by grounding myself in what got me into it in the first place - impacting students' lives. I need to back off building up my PLN and myself on twitter, through blogs, and across nings. I need to ease my pursuit of research, research, research and start digging with that same intensity into my students' needs. I need to participate in the community of friends that still exists for me here in Springfield, and I need to work harder to build community in my own classroom.

The 2009-2010 year hasn't gone great, and I've had a lot to do with that. Now is the time to start making necessary changes for the better - not only for my students, but also for me.

I need to be intentional, so here goes: I ask for wisdom, the necessary knowledge, patience in all situations, and hope each new day. Help me to see the potential in each day, in each student, and in me personally. Do not send me up from here if you do not go with me.