We have reached the door through which knowledge is created. No longer are we allowed to cite secondary sources. Yes, we can read them, especially in order to gain better understanding. But we must gather, not in order to regurgitate or review or even criticize; we must gather in order to supply our own framework of knowledge, which certainly is influenced by previous knowledge, but stands apart from it. We are no longer a branch on the larger tree, we are a seedling attempting to grow in order to produce our own fruit.
I wrote the above paragraph in the summer of 2006, as I was taking a class on qualitative research at Missouri State University. It was the first semester as Missouri State University, and the transition to a research institution was, from my experience, not a smooth one. Dr. Goodwin, who may be a wonderful human being, was (and I imagine still is) a terrible teacher. He left me ill-equipped to finish my master’s. And there is the most frustrating part. I really don’t care if I finish my master’s degree, because money really isn’t a big deal to me, nor is the recognition. The problem is I would like to finish it, emphasis on the would. I do care. But I am the type of student who must be taught. I can teach myself some things, but this I cannot. I am convinced I cannot be taught this because I cannot be taught to jump through hoops or fulfill requirements simply because they are established. I have never been very good with convention. So I will try, as I have twice before. And I may fail again. But I pray and hope and dream that I will complete it. I never see myself doing it, but I hope that I can.
Anyway, as for the paragraph, it encompasses much of what I have dreamed for ever since I started reading books that actually matter. Those who write books, books that actually matter and are worth reading, contribute to the collective knowledge of those who read it. This idea of collective knowledge, always growing and changing, through the thoughts and words of writers, is what I want to add to. I know I have thoughts and ideas that could be worthwhile additions to this collective knowledge, but getting them down on paper, in a logical and engaging manner, often eludes me. But in the summer of 2006, filled with grandiose ideas in a completely useless class, I penned that corny little paragraph above. I found it written on a manila folder in which I kept all of my assignments from that class; a folder found as I clean my apartment and ready my life for a move into my first home.
I find hope in the idea that I can someday add to collective knowledge. I’m scared out of mind when it comes to thinking of owning a house, caring for a house, and paying for a house. In my imagination, those who add to collective knowledge are not burdened by paying mortgages or fixing creaky garage doors or adding insulation to their attic. But, hey, what do I know?
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
reflection: part 2
We are now well into August, and I’ve been thinking for some time about whether I would continue this blog or not. I still don’t know if I will, but when I was hanging out with a friend and sharing stories about my summer travels I realized I had something in the line of a reflection.
Something happened in California, and maybe it was talking with Matt Treacy on the day of the wedding or maybe it was just hanging out with all those wonderful people. I realized that I’ve been able to experience some of what I want in life, but there is much more out there. At 28, I decided to grow up. Step 1: Buy a house. So that’s what I’ve been doing with much of my time, other than getting ready for the coming school year. I haven’t had great luck with the house hunt, but I’m believing that God has something very good for me, if not easy or simple. I’m looking at it as a great way to learn some new skills.
As I think of Step 2, I’m not sure what it is. At 28, I might guess: Get married. But I’m not sure that is it. Maybe it is: Progress at your job. Maybe it is: Find a lifelong hobby. I don’t know. I purposefully went out to Utah, to the desert there, to find solitude. My parents were constantly hassling me about how everything that I was doing was not safe, but what they didn’t open their eyes to was that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted isolation. I wanted remoteness. I wanted harsh weather. I have grown tired of insincerity. The slick rock and dust and sand were hard and unforgiving. Now that I look back, I wish that I would have spent more time out in Canyonlands, because that’s where I was most away from everything. Me, God, and nature. I had some great conversations, but not enough. Zion, although its name might be more appealing, was more crowded and not isolating enough. I met some interesting people there, but I found myself preferring to drown in a shallow pool in the Narrows than share that space with anyone other than God. Maybe that is selfish; it probably is. I guess I can justify it by claiming it is what I needed. Maybe I need more of it.
Following Utah’s isolation I went to California, where I found myself surrounded by great people. Hanging out at the Ragain’s place, with the addition of Sophie, was so cool. I can’t say enough about how cool or nice Matt and Leah are. Sophie was very hesitant at first, but she came around. Getting to see so many old friends, and make new ones at Matt Stephan’s wedding was phenomenal. From the day of the bachelor party to the night of the wedding was a blur. We never stopped going. And I was always surrounded by people. It was the antithesis of Utah. It wasn’t bad; it was really good. But so much booze and so much going going going meant that the only time I had to slow down was on the morning of the wedding, and that’s when I spent an hour or so talking to Matt Treacy. That single conversation made the drive out to California worthwhile, because we were two depressed dudes trying to find our way in the world, and just talking. That’s when I allowed life to slow down enough for God to reveal himself to me through a new friend. And I haven’t talked to that dude since, but I’ve thought a lot about that conversation, and how real God is through shared words and silence.
California ended with me bringing Elliott to the airport, and him blessing me with cash to get the oil changed in my car. I cried as I left the airport, and I’m sure the other people on the road thought I was mental, which I probably am. I don’t know if I cried because I was so thankful to Elliott for the money, or because I was so sad to be leaving California and those friends. I think it was because I was leaving those friends, and I was jealous for more time with them. I knew that I wouldn’t have anything close to that in Springfield.
Next I was driving to Prescott, Arizona to see the Simpsons. It was the hottest stretch of driving I had done the whole trip, and when I got to the Simpson’s place they weren’t home. It was cool to just walk around. The next two days I spent with a nuclear family; something I hadn’t done in a long time. Matt and Maureen have two awesome kids, and I was able to share the visit with Maureen’s sister Jillian, who was on her way to LA. Anyway, the progression from isolation in Utah, to immersion among friends in California, to a nuclear family in Arizona was interesting. It was refreshing to see a mom and dad and kids do stuff together; I wanted to stay longer just to watch time and days progress for this family, hoping that I could learn something about life and God in the process. Refreshing is the best and only way I can describe the time I spent with the Simpsons, and all I can say to them is “Thank you.” The same goes to my Creator. There was something stabilizing in that environment, and I’m pretty sure it was God; coming off of a destabilizing adventure in California, it was welcome.
After that I met my parents in Colorado for the biggest and best adventure of them all: life with my family and the conquering of a 14000 foot mountain. We got through them both, and at the top of the mountain I cried tears of joy and surprise by the fact that we had made it. I didn’t think we would; I never make it to “the top” of anything. I feel like I’ve always had to turn around before reaching “the top”, or that some obstacle always stands in my way. Maybe that’s why I am perpetually depressed. But my experiences, from desert landscape, to cement playground, to domesticated life, to mountain top were all real and all infused with God. And that, I guess, is why I keep living, and keep reciting the Shema, and why I will continue to look for Step 2, which may not be Step 2 but Step 229 or Step 451.
Something happened in California, and maybe it was talking with Matt Treacy on the day of the wedding or maybe it was just hanging out with all those wonderful people. I realized that I’ve been able to experience some of what I want in life, but there is much more out there. At 28, I decided to grow up. Step 1: Buy a house. So that’s what I’ve been doing with much of my time, other than getting ready for the coming school year. I haven’t had great luck with the house hunt, but I’m believing that God has something very good for me, if not easy or simple. I’m looking at it as a great way to learn some new skills.
As I think of Step 2, I’m not sure what it is. At 28, I might guess: Get married. But I’m not sure that is it. Maybe it is: Progress at your job. Maybe it is: Find a lifelong hobby. I don’t know. I purposefully went out to Utah, to the desert there, to find solitude. My parents were constantly hassling me about how everything that I was doing was not safe, but what they didn’t open their eyes to was that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted isolation. I wanted remoteness. I wanted harsh weather. I have grown tired of insincerity. The slick rock and dust and sand were hard and unforgiving. Now that I look back, I wish that I would have spent more time out in Canyonlands, because that’s where I was most away from everything. Me, God, and nature. I had some great conversations, but not enough. Zion, although its name might be more appealing, was more crowded and not isolating enough. I met some interesting people there, but I found myself preferring to drown in a shallow pool in the Narrows than share that space with anyone other than God. Maybe that is selfish; it probably is. I guess I can justify it by claiming it is what I needed. Maybe I need more of it.
Following Utah’s isolation I went to California, where I found myself surrounded by great people. Hanging out at the Ragain’s place, with the addition of Sophie, was so cool. I can’t say enough about how cool or nice Matt and Leah are. Sophie was very hesitant at first, but she came around. Getting to see so many old friends, and make new ones at Matt Stephan’s wedding was phenomenal. From the day of the bachelor party to the night of the wedding was a blur. We never stopped going. And I was always surrounded by people. It was the antithesis of Utah. It wasn’t bad; it was really good. But so much booze and so much going going going meant that the only time I had to slow down was on the morning of the wedding, and that’s when I spent an hour or so talking to Matt Treacy. That single conversation made the drive out to California worthwhile, because we were two depressed dudes trying to find our way in the world, and just talking. That’s when I allowed life to slow down enough for God to reveal himself to me through a new friend. And I haven’t talked to that dude since, but I’ve thought a lot about that conversation, and how real God is through shared words and silence.
California ended with me bringing Elliott to the airport, and him blessing me with cash to get the oil changed in my car. I cried as I left the airport, and I’m sure the other people on the road thought I was mental, which I probably am. I don’t know if I cried because I was so thankful to Elliott for the money, or because I was so sad to be leaving California and those friends. I think it was because I was leaving those friends, and I was jealous for more time with them. I knew that I wouldn’t have anything close to that in Springfield.
Next I was driving to Prescott, Arizona to see the Simpsons. It was the hottest stretch of driving I had done the whole trip, and when I got to the Simpson’s place they weren’t home. It was cool to just walk around. The next two days I spent with a nuclear family; something I hadn’t done in a long time. Matt and Maureen have two awesome kids, and I was able to share the visit with Maureen’s sister Jillian, who was on her way to LA. Anyway, the progression from isolation in Utah, to immersion among friends in California, to a nuclear family in Arizona was interesting. It was refreshing to see a mom and dad and kids do stuff together; I wanted to stay longer just to watch time and days progress for this family, hoping that I could learn something about life and God in the process. Refreshing is the best and only way I can describe the time I spent with the Simpsons, and all I can say to them is “Thank you.” The same goes to my Creator. There was something stabilizing in that environment, and I’m pretty sure it was God; coming off of a destabilizing adventure in California, it was welcome.
After that I met my parents in Colorado for the biggest and best adventure of them all: life with my family and the conquering of a 14000 foot mountain. We got through them both, and at the top of the mountain I cried tears of joy and surprise by the fact that we had made it. I didn’t think we would; I never make it to “the top” of anything. I feel like I’ve always had to turn around before reaching “the top”, or that some obstacle always stands in my way. Maybe that’s why I am perpetually depressed. But my experiences, from desert landscape, to cement playground, to domesticated life, to mountain top were all real and all infused with God. And that, I guess, is why I keep living, and keep reciting the Shema, and why I will continue to look for Step 2, which may not be Step 2 but Step 229 or Step 451.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
pictures are funny
I was going through more summer pictures this evening and found some really funny shots of me and the family in Colorado. Nothing really beats a Maerke face in a picture. I've come to the conclusion that I must walk around with a face that conveys the fact that I am always confused, or I've just smelled something foul. I can't seem to take a normal picture. I've posted a new album on picasa for all to check out, so please go see them. The two best are below.
I would love to see a competition on what this conversation is about.
A Maerke dinner wouldn't be complete without us laughing at Dad for some over-acting job and pronunciation. On this day it was about the "great American vacation."
Monday, July 27, 2009
last day in NOLA
I've actually been able to think a little over the past two days. Quiet is hard to come by here, especially since the freaking phone is always ringing so dang loudly when I think I've finally got some peace. So I've had a few thoughts lately, and figured I would share them with all my faithful readers out there.
1. I am blessed. My life really is good. I encounter some ugly stuff, and recognize that there are a lot of people out there without Jesus who live some ugly lives. And by ugly I mean a number of things: unfulfilling, unsatisfying, depressing, dirty, nasty, super-hard. I say "super-hard" because I'm pretty sure that most of life, especially mine during the school year, is hard, but not super-hard. I tell people that I live in Springfield because it is easy, and that's pretty much true. Life is easy there. Rarely do I run across legendary jerks, and rarely do I find myself taking pity on the people I see on the street or in the many businesses I frequent. Here in NOLA, life is not easy. I don’t think I need to elaborate. I don’t think it just comes down to the fact that Springfield is easy and NOLA is hard, I know it comes down to the fact that I am blessed. And I don’t mean that other people are not blessed, but I know how much I truly dislike most of life and existence, and how much I look forward to heaven, and the fact that I’m not depressed all the time means that God is doing some very cool things in and around my life. I’m happy about this.
2. The food here in NOLA is really good. My last two trips here (Jazz Fest in April, and now this one) have solidified perspective for me when I come here. My priorities look like this: visiting family, eating my face out, sleeping and relaxing, watching soccer (and/or Tour de France, if it is July). Some things that I absolutely cannot get in Springfield: homemade red beans and rice, snowballs, beignets, po-boys, boiled seafood. All of those things are reason to visit here on a regular basis.
3. I’ve been reading Seamus Heaney’s translation of Beowulf since I began this trip. I’ve been reading less than I’ve been blogging, which means that last night I finally actually began Beowulf. The first 40 or 50 pages where an essay, which was interesting, but tedius. Well, Beowulf is amazing. The language is absolutely beautiful; the images the words conjure are so vivid and real. I’m going to keep a running tally of my favorite lines, and then go back through to add some of them here, just to share with you all. Here are a few:
Line 7 – “A foundling to start with, he would flourish later on” – imagery and alliteration
Lines 178-180 – “That was their way,/their heathenish hope; deep in their hearts/they remembered hell. – again, imagery and alliteration
Line 310 – “Majesty lodged there” – no place would be spoken of in this way in 2009, and that makes me sad for now and long for then
4. Finally, I’ve decided that I want to buy a house and a computer. Stay tuned for (hopefully) developments.
5. The picture link is to the right. If you want to see shots from the summer, that's where to look.
1. I am blessed. My life really is good. I encounter some ugly stuff, and recognize that there are a lot of people out there without Jesus who live some ugly lives. And by ugly I mean a number of things: unfulfilling, unsatisfying, depressing, dirty, nasty, super-hard. I say "super-hard" because I'm pretty sure that most of life, especially mine during the school year, is hard, but not super-hard. I tell people that I live in Springfield because it is easy, and that's pretty much true. Life is easy there. Rarely do I run across legendary jerks, and rarely do I find myself taking pity on the people I see on the street or in the many businesses I frequent. Here in NOLA, life is not easy. I don’t think I need to elaborate. I don’t think it just comes down to the fact that Springfield is easy and NOLA is hard, I know it comes down to the fact that I am blessed. And I don’t mean that other people are not blessed, but I know how much I truly dislike most of life and existence, and how much I look forward to heaven, and the fact that I’m not depressed all the time means that God is doing some very cool things in and around my life. I’m happy about this.
2. The food here in NOLA is really good. My last two trips here (Jazz Fest in April, and now this one) have solidified perspective for me when I come here. My priorities look like this: visiting family, eating my face out, sleeping and relaxing, watching soccer (and/or Tour de France, if it is July). Some things that I absolutely cannot get in Springfield: homemade red beans and rice, snowballs, beignets, po-boys, boiled seafood. All of those things are reason to visit here on a regular basis.
3. I’ve been reading Seamus Heaney’s translation of Beowulf since I began this trip. I’ve been reading less than I’ve been blogging, which means that last night I finally actually began Beowulf. The first 40 or 50 pages where an essay, which was interesting, but tedius. Well, Beowulf is amazing. The language is absolutely beautiful; the images the words conjure are so vivid and real. I’m going to keep a running tally of my favorite lines, and then go back through to add some of them here, just to share with you all. Here are a few:
Line 7 – “A foundling to start with, he would flourish later on” – imagery and alliteration
Lines 178-180 – “That was their way,/their heathenish hope; deep in their hearts/they remembered hell. – again, imagery and alliteration
Line 310 – “Majesty lodged there” – no place would be spoken of in this way in 2009, and that makes me sad for now and long for then
4. Finally, I’ve decided that I want to buy a house and a computer. Stay tuned for (hopefully) developments.
5. The picture link is to the right. If you want to see shots from the summer, that's where to look.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
reflection: part 1
It's my first full day in New Orleans and I'm enjoying things so far. I also wish I was in Springfield, because there is quite a bit of work I could do while there, but I will work from here (behind this glowing screen) and enjoy the last few days. My thoughts are random and listlike, as usual. Good luck making sense of it.
1. I just bought new glasses today. $164.25 down the drain. Why don't things last? Or why am I going blind?
2. This morning I watched stage 18 in the Tour de France. I was yelling at the tv for Alberto Contador, a rider I don't especially like after his complete lack of tactics, to "Go kid, go!" Then I watched a replay of Barcelona vs. Valencia (that's soccer or futbol, if you're not sure). After that I was really happy. U.S. sports can't capture the history or the splendor of these athletic events; they try to complicate games and magnify the importance of it with round the clock coverage but still they fall short.
3. I'm going to eat a snowball today and twitter about it. It will be the best thing I will have eaten all summer, and it will cost me $1.00.
4. I'm going to make a list of some of my experiences, and I'm not sure how many things I will list, or how many things I will write about. Here begins it:
A. Best shower - the Rainville's new apartment. It was amazingly refreshing after helping them move. It was spacious, with great water pressure, and no one had more colorfully assorted items to use to wash my hair.
*Honorable mention goes to the Simpson's cabin. You hear "cabin" and you think, "This has running water?" But let me tell you, this place has better water pressure than my parents' house. And, after the hottest stretch of driving I had to do on the whole trip, that shower was great. It also contained more toys than I have ever seen in a tub; I was tempted but resisted.
B. Worst shower - tied between #13 at the Mesa Verde Morefield Campground and the Monticello Inn in Monticello, UT. The Morefield Campground did have free showers, which was very nice, but I can only describe this shower in one way - g r o s s. Check out the Monticello Inn website: it looks fairly nice. Well, this place is a hole in the wall, literally. The shower head was worse than the one at the free campground showers; worse than the showers at James River's campground. For the two hottest days I spent hiking, I had to return to the worst shower in the history of showers. That's all I can say.
And that's all for now. You can look forward to much more to come. Right now I'm going to take a nap.
1. I just bought new glasses today. $164.25 down the drain. Why don't things last? Or why am I going blind?
2. This morning I watched stage 18 in the Tour de France. I was yelling at the tv for Alberto Contador, a rider I don't especially like after his complete lack of tactics, to "Go kid, go!" Then I watched a replay of Barcelona vs. Valencia (that's soccer or futbol, if you're not sure). After that I was really happy. U.S. sports can't capture the history or the splendor of these athletic events; they try to complicate games and magnify the importance of it with round the clock coverage but still they fall short.
3. I'm going to eat a snowball today and twitter about it. It will be the best thing I will have eaten all summer, and it will cost me $1.00.
4. I'm going to make a list of some of my experiences, and I'm not sure how many things I will list, or how many things I will write about. Here begins it:
A. Best shower - the Rainville's new apartment. It was amazingly refreshing after helping them move. It was spacious, with great water pressure, and no one had more colorfully assorted items to use to wash my hair.
*Honorable mention goes to the Simpson's cabin. You hear "cabin" and you think, "This has running water?" But let me tell you, this place has better water pressure than my parents' house. And, after the hottest stretch of driving I had to do on the whole trip, that shower was great. It also contained more toys than I have ever seen in a tub; I was tempted but resisted.
B. Worst shower - tied between #13 at the Mesa Verde Morefield Campground and the Monticello Inn in Monticello, UT. The Morefield Campground did have free showers, which was very nice, but I can only describe this shower in one way - g r o s s. Check out the Monticello Inn website: it looks fairly nice. Well, this place is a hole in the wall, literally. The shower head was worse than the one at the free campground showers; worse than the showers at James River's campground. For the two hottest days I spent hiking, I had to return to the worst shower in the history of showers. That's all I can say.
And that's all for now. You can look forward to much more to come. Right now I'm going to take a nap.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I'm almost done
6,960 miles and 12 states later, I am back in Springfield, MO, but just for today. I'm cleaning and cleaning and doing some things around town that I need to take care of, then off to New Orleans tomorrow with the parents; will add 4 more states, but since I won't be driving I don't think I can count the mileage. I will be back in Springfield on July 28, and that will officially end all of my summer travels. I'm uploading pictures to the Picasa web album I've set up, and that address/link can be found in the "Welcome" section. I'm trying to organize the pictures so they'll make sense. More writing to come in New Orleans - I've got lots of ideas, I just need the time.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
it keeps coming up in everything I think about
I’m learning a lesson in perspective. How a canyon appears is constantly changing with every twist and turn. What I think a desert is – dry, sand and rock, little to no green – has changed and probably will continue to, with each new “desert” that I see and walk through.
Everybody says, “Yeah, it’s hot, but it’s a dry heat.” Well, let me tell you; I spent 5.5 hours hiking 11 miles in Canyonlands on my first day there (after 17 hours on the road the previous day) and it was probably the hottest day of my life. I’ve experienced different types of heat: stifling heat when I sat in traffic in I-44 west traveling to Tulsa, draining heat when I worked landscaping in New Orleans. This heat was like my worst enemy punching me on all sides of my head with each step. There was no shade to be had; the sun was inescapable. Yes, it was dry heat, but it was a heat purely derived in the ability of the sun to beat me down. If I could have found shade, as I did the next day, things would have been much easier. Somehow, just sneaking out of the sun for the little bits when I found shade, on my second day, saved me incredibly.
Today I hiked Angel’s Landing in Zion. It was by far the scariest hike I have ever been on in my life. I don’t quite know what it looked like or what the surrounding cliffs/mountains looked like. I kept my eyes on the rock in front of me, one hand on the chains supporting me, and the other stabilizing me. I’m quite sure I would have turned around, but my mom told me it was her favorite hike. How could I turn around on my mom’s favorite hike? This was a lesson in perspective. How could she enjoy anything about the hike? I really don’t know. 2 miles of it is paved and pretty easy uphill. Then it gets absolutely crazy scary, with sheer cliffs, sometimes on both sides. I don’t know if I have a favorite hike, really, but I know that isn’t it.
As I hiked Angel’s Landing I met two other guys who were also solo hiking. One actually snuck up part of the trail to sleep on the trail so that he wouldn’t have to pay the $16 for the camping fee. He didn’t even know what hike it was, he just found one that was deserted the night before. He told me he’d spent $3 the previous 3 days on food and lodging – sleeping wherever he could and eating Saltine crackers and peanut butter. He had stories from hostels, homeless shelters, and a Mormon ranch where he worked for a week to make some money to make it this far. I’m pretty sure the other guy I met had done time. He, like the other guy, was traveling on a motorcycle, and was totally sold out on the advantages. He said he had spent $44 in the past 5 days on lodging and food – between camping and “Top Ramen” (which might be different than the kind I prefer to eat dry). Meanwhile, I was paying upwards of $90 a night in my comfy hotel room, with my air conditioning, flat screen TV, mini fridge, and free wireless internet. I really like the idea of the trip that I’m on – going at it alone to visit friends and see the desert American west, but really, compared to these guys, I’m not doing much. It all depends on how you look at things – perspective.
Enjoy more pictures.
Everybody says, “Yeah, it’s hot, but it’s a dry heat.” Well, let me tell you; I spent 5.5 hours hiking 11 miles in Canyonlands on my first day there (after 17 hours on the road the previous day) and it was probably the hottest day of my life. I’ve experienced different types of heat: stifling heat when I sat in traffic in I-44 west traveling to Tulsa, draining heat when I worked landscaping in New Orleans. This heat was like my worst enemy punching me on all sides of my head with each step. There was no shade to be had; the sun was inescapable. Yes, it was dry heat, but it was a heat purely derived in the ability of the sun to beat me down. If I could have found shade, as I did the next day, things would have been much easier. Somehow, just sneaking out of the sun for the little bits when I found shade, on my second day, saved me incredibly.
Today I hiked Angel’s Landing in Zion. It was by far the scariest hike I have ever been on in my life. I don’t quite know what it looked like or what the surrounding cliffs/mountains looked like. I kept my eyes on the rock in front of me, one hand on the chains supporting me, and the other stabilizing me. I’m quite sure I would have turned around, but my mom told me it was her favorite hike. How could I turn around on my mom’s favorite hike? This was a lesson in perspective. How could she enjoy anything about the hike? I really don’t know. 2 miles of it is paved and pretty easy uphill. Then it gets absolutely crazy scary, with sheer cliffs, sometimes on both sides. I don’t know if I have a favorite hike, really, but I know that isn’t it.
As I hiked Angel’s Landing I met two other guys who were also solo hiking. One actually snuck up part of the trail to sleep on the trail so that he wouldn’t have to pay the $16 for the camping fee. He didn’t even know what hike it was, he just found one that was deserted the night before. He told me he’d spent $3 the previous 3 days on food and lodging – sleeping wherever he could and eating Saltine crackers and peanut butter. He had stories from hostels, homeless shelters, and a Mormon ranch where he worked for a week to make some money to make it this far. I’m pretty sure the other guy I met had done time. He, like the other guy, was traveling on a motorcycle, and was totally sold out on the advantages. He said he had spent $44 in the past 5 days on lodging and food – between camping and “Top Ramen” (which might be different than the kind I prefer to eat dry). Meanwhile, I was paying upwards of $90 a night in my comfy hotel room, with my air conditioning, flat screen TV, mini fridge, and free wireless internet. I really like the idea of the trip that I’m on – going at it alone to visit friends and see the desert American west, but really, compared to these guys, I’m not doing much. It all depends on how you look at things – perspective.
Enjoy more pictures.
On the 
A trail sign in Chesler Park.
Delicate Arch in Arches National Park, around sunset, from the upper overlook.
Entrance to Zion. What a great day.
On Angel's Landing, scared out of my mind. All I could do was smile and hold on.
Zion overlook. I really got up the courage to stand there. Angel's Landing helped.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
pictures and captions - I need to go to sleep
I haven't updated in a while, and I really want to, but I also want to sleep so that I can enjoy this trip. So here are way more pictures than I originally planned.
The Watson's 
The Hatleys 
The Hatleys, version 2
I drove for 17 hours on Sunday. This is the best picture I took out of my window. 
This was the only hiker I saw on the trail all day. I was hiking the Confluence Overlook trail in the Needles District of Canyonlands National Park. It wasn't as expectedly eerie being that alone out on the trail when it was hotter than I've ever been in my life.
Me, at the Confluence Overlook. To my left is the Green River, and to my right is the Colorado River. It's pretty amazing how the water mixed when the rivers met. 
I was just proud of this picture. Taken at the Needles Overlook in Canyonlands. 
Another one I'm pretty proud of. 
The Needles are an absolutely amazing place. 
What else can I say? The lighting even cooperated.
That's just from Tulsa (not much), the drive (just one), and my first day in Canyonlands. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have more up, and take the time to write.On a side note, I hate the html in blogs so much, especially when inserting pictures, that I'm pretty sure after I do this I will never use blogger again.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
I hate my iphone
I probably should hate my computer just as much, but my iphone won't connect to my computer; it is "unrecognized" by my itunes. So I can't get the software update; I can't update my pictures or my music; and I can't update my twitter and facebook feeds, which I totally manage on my phone. I've gone to the AT&T store where I bought the phone, and it was immediately recognized on the itunes account set up in the store, but when I brought it home I got nothing. I'm ready to through the thing against the wall. It's the most expensive phone, and most useless mini-computer, ever. My blood is seriously boiling right now, as I type it.
In an effort to ease my blood pressure, and give my faithful readers more than my angered thoughts, I've got a funny picture from the morning I left Ohio.
Mike and I have always taken great photos on our travels, and I knew, when I got to his house, exactly where I wanted the picture for this episode. Nothing says Americana like an American flag hanging above the steps entering your home, or me and Mike standing below it.
I'll be leaving tomorrow for Tulsa, for the next two days. Then off to Monticello, UT and Canyonlands. The high in Tulsa tomorrow is supposed to be 101. It will be pretty hot driving without any air conditioning. And now, with Kendall living situation (he's staying with his parents while his house is being built), I think I am going to get to stay with Matt Watson. I'm really excited about seeing everyone. Until next time.
In an effort to ease my blood pressure, and give my faithful readers more than my angered thoughts, I've got a funny picture from the morning I left Ohio.
Mike and I have always taken great photos on our travels, and I knew, when I got to his house, exactly where I wanted the picture for this episode. Nothing says Americana like an American flag hanging above the steps entering your home, or me and Mike standing below it. I'll be leaving tomorrow for Tulsa, for the next two days. Then off to Monticello, UT and Canyonlands. The high in Tulsa tomorrow is supposed to be 101. It will be pretty hot driving without any air conditioning. And now, with Kendall living situation (he's staying with his parents while his house is being built), I think I am going to get to stay with Matt Watson. I'm really excited about seeing everyone. Until next time.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
A 2 on the Analytic Scoring Continuum in the trait of Structure
I was in Chicago for the National Writing Project 2009 National Scoring Conference, during which we, in the middle school room, completed 3076 readings/scorings of essays. So, after 3 solid days of that, every event turns into an opportunity to practice scoring on the Analytic Scoring Continuum, their "rubric" for scoring. There is also a Holistic Scoring Guide, but that just isn't as fun, and you're not really able to break down the meal (if eating) or the road (if driving) or the music (if listening) or the preaching (if in church) in all of its subtleties. So, I’ve now announced my topic – using the Analytic Scoring Continuum, but because it will be more like a list, and less developed, it won’t be on the high end. Just wanted to prepare you.
1. I’ve got a few pictures of fellow scorers as they do their work. Since I’m working on the MWPN website, I need pictures of Missouri Writing Project people doing their thing. It’s not exciting, since we basically spend about 10 hours learning how to use the Scoring Guides, and then spend 12-15 hours scoring papers, but it is important, and through the findings of this research we (the NWP) are able to gain funding to live another day.
Frank from Idaho and Darrian from New York scoring at the perfect table #7.
Missouri scorers in the high school room work hard to finish up on Saturday.
All of the Missouri scorers, after the reflection and response time during Saturday's lunch.
2. Chicago is a wonderful town. I didn’t walk around like a tourist with my camera though, so I will have to return to take pictures. I’m really coming to like big cities, and the idea of living in one. The fact that they are planned and built up rather than out, allowing for an organized and fairly efficient, if not always clean, public transportation grid, is something that I consider with great respect. Chicago probably profited from the fire for this element, to a certain extent.
3. Things I would like to do in the city of Chicago: (1) go to the Green Mill Cocktail Lounge for Slam Poetry; (2) go to the beach on Lake Michigan to see if it is really worth calling a beach, or if those crazy northerners just call it a beach because their winters are so terrible that the idea of a beach is necessary for their existence; (3) hit the Field Museum, Grant Park down through Millennium Park – maybe catch a concert there, and then Navy Pier; (4) go to another Cubs game at Wrigley Field, and since this is a wish list, add a White Sox game at U.S. Cellular and a Bulls game at the United Center.
4. Driving from Chicago to Ohio, I passed through South Bend, Indiana, home of Notre Dame University. That sentence is fairly simple and not quite full of the excitement suitable to my reaction. It was a fun 30 minutes of driving around the campus, sometimes the wrong way because I just wanted to take pictures and didn’t quite know where I was going. I drove around with a huge smile on my face, just happy to be on the grounds that I had dreamed of for so many years as a young kid at Holy Cross. Honestly, it didn’t live up to my imagination, or to the glory and splendor that NBC affords it every college football season, but it still was really cool. I’m sure, like Holy Cross’ Gazebo and the bell and the oaks, the history is in being there and sharing experiences there. I’ve got some pictures that I know my family will enjoy at least.
Entrance to a magical land. 
Need I say more?
Even the wind and the flags were cooperating for this fantasy trip to the glory land.
The Golden Dome. Beautiful drive up through a tree lined street to reach this point.
Gate C at the stadium. It's not as big as I expected it to be, but things are always bigger in your mind when they exist in a fantasy land far, far away.
Touchdown Jesus was huge! Not larger than life; larger than expected.
5. Driving from Chicago to Canton, I took I-90 through the city, connected to I-80 and took that all the way to south of Cleveland. I estimate that it cost me $30-35 to drive that stretch of highway. That sentence is also fairly simple and not quite indicative of my absolute distaste for the almost everyone in the state of Indiana and Ohio. Quite frankly, the roads were terrible, comparable to those in Louisiana. When I entered Indiana, I immediately had to pay $3.50 to cross a bridge – which I miraculously made it across. When I got to the bottom of the bridge, I had to pay $2.50 to get onto I-80. When I got to South Bend I had to pay, and then grab a ticket when I got back on the interstate. When I got to the Indiana state line I had to pay double digits, I think it was $11.50. When I got into Ohio I had to grab a ticket, for which I paid when I exited in Toledo for gas. When I got back on I had to grab another ticket, for which I had to pay when I got off I-80 to get onto I-77 south to Canton.
To the government and the people of the states of Indiana and Ohio: I hope every single one of you lose your jobs. If your road systems are so bad that you must charge ridiculous amounts just to travel the roads, I hope all tourism to your states ends. I hope the federal government stops sending money to your states; money that other states receive and manage in their Transportation Departments, and put to good use. I hope that you don’t learn how to use the resources provided to you, and I hope that you still maintain the idea that you must keep up with the Joneses.
Indiana: you will never be Illinois and you will never have a population center comparable to that of Chicago, so you will always be the little, stinky brother, always attempting to survive off of access to those better than you. You are a doormat, and I’m quite convinced that you know it.
Ohio: you may think that, because of presidential elections and the corruption of the college football BCS toward THE Ohio State University, you are important, but really you are not. Saying that your economy is in the trenches would be generous. You have stopped being relevant or necessary in the Midwest so long ago that you aren’t even claimed by states like Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska, or Oklahoma. That’s pretty sad. Like Indiana, you also are a doormat to bigger and better places; stop trying to squeeze every bit of good out of those who attempt to quickly pass through or by.
To any friends I have in Indiana or Ohio, I love you very much. Get out as fast as you can.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Chicago
Wednesday afternoon: taking it easy and doing some work at the Naperville library. Check in for the Scoring Conference starts at 3, so I’ll be leaving in a bit.
Yesterday, my first full day in Chicago was really nice. The drive up was pretty much uneventful, other than the invested sports stories – USA giving up the lead to Italy in the Confederations Cup and finally losing 3-1, and LSU hammering Arkansas in the College World Series, neither of which I was able to see (I followed on my phone).
After spending 8 hours behind the wheel, seeing all that central Missouri and Illinois have to offer, I’m ever more convinced that America = excess. I passed the World’s Largest Gift Shop and Candy Store, along with directions to the World’s Largest Rocking Chair. The World’s Largest Gift Shop wasn’t near any large population center at all, nor was the Rocking Chair functional. So why were they necessary? They weren’t. But some dumb American was convinced that if he/she built the biggest then it would be the best, and that would then transfer to them as individuals. Well, guess what: whoever built and works at the World’s Largest Gift Shop is still just as cool and important and interesting and intelligent (or not) as if they worked at Chili’s or Wal-Mart or Wired. Biggest does not equal best, just ask the German Nazi Military or the British Empire or, more recently, General Motors or Washington Mutual.
And in a completely unrelated note, I passed an exit (179) for Newburg-Doolittle on I-44 in Missouri. Now this got me thinking:
1. Most certainly these are two different towns, but what if they weren’t? What if the town’s name was actually Newburg-Doolittle?
2. Have the people recently moved to the vicinity and it’s just so God-blessed nice that they lost all drive and focus and did nothing – or do nothing? If so, how did they establish the town names?
3. Do the people in Doolittle look on the people of Newburg with contempt because the newcomers are encroaching on their space, and actually doing something?
4. Have the people of Newburg caught on to the fact that they live next to a town called Doolittle, where the people do absolutely nothing all day and all night?
To continue the theme of unrelated notes, I’ve got pictures!
Yesterday, my first full day in Chicago was really nice. The drive up was pretty much uneventful, other than the invested sports stories – USA giving up the lead to Italy in the Confederations Cup and finally losing 3-1, and LSU hammering Arkansas in the College World Series, neither of which I was able to see (I followed on my phone).
After spending 8 hours behind the wheel, seeing all that central Missouri and Illinois have to offer, I’m ever more convinced that America = excess. I passed the World’s Largest Gift Shop and Candy Store, along with directions to the World’s Largest Rocking Chair. The World’s Largest Gift Shop wasn’t near any large population center at all, nor was the Rocking Chair functional. So why were they necessary? They weren’t. But some dumb American was convinced that if he/she built the biggest then it would be the best, and that would then transfer to them as individuals. Well, guess what: whoever built and works at the World’s Largest Gift Shop is still just as cool and important and interesting and intelligent (or not) as if they worked at Chili’s or Wal-Mart or Wired. Biggest does not equal best, just ask the German Nazi Military or the British Empire or, more recently, General Motors or Washington Mutual.
And in a completely unrelated note, I passed an exit (179) for Newburg-Doolittle on I-44 in Missouri. Now this got me thinking:
1. Most certainly these are two different towns, but what if they weren’t? What if the town’s name was actually Newburg-Doolittle?
2. Have the people recently moved to the vicinity and it’s just so God-blessed nice that they lost all drive and focus and did nothing – or do nothing? If so, how did they establish the town names?
3. Do the people in Doolittle look on the people of Newburg with contempt because the newcomers are encroaching on their space, and actually doing something?
4. Have the people of Newburg caught on to the fact that they live next to a town called Doolittle, where the people do absolutely nothing all day and all night?
To continue the theme of unrelated notes, I’ve got pictures!
It was absolutely pouring in St. Louis. The people there drive like they don’t know that people die from car wrecks on the interstate.
Check out this old farm house. I thought it was pretty neat.
When I finally made it to Chicago, we just took it easy most of the evening. Brian tried to teach me Dr. Mario on the NES, but I couldn’t get into it, so Amy showed me what was up. I figured it would be a great time to try out the new tri-pod, and I think the pictures came out pretty good.
The next morning, when Brian and Amy went to pick up the truck for their move, I got to play my second favorite game of all time - Mike Tyson's Punch Out.
The view into their building. 
The view out their window. Nice!
This morning I watched Spain vs. Iraq in the Confederations Cup and was thoroughly let down by Spain’s attacking, but impressed by Iraq’s ability to defend, and even have a few powerful shots in transition. After Spain’s thrashing of New Zealand I was looking forward to some more fireworks, but with the substitutions from the last game, I guess I should have expected this.
There you have it.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
the Drive Time playlist
I'm sure it will change from day to day, but this is what I've got set for tomorrow.
June 14
It is the morning before I leave for Chicago, and I have several updates.
1. On Wednesday, I took my Jeep to Graham Automotive, who always seem to be reliable guys when it comes to mechanics, and again they have left me befuddled. Most mechanics look for opportunities to fix something on a car, to make sure they get their money out of the customer; these guys look for reasons not to do work. My engine light was on when I brought it to them, I needed an oil change, it has been 40,000 miles since I last had my transmission serviced, and I am about to embark on an ambitious adventure during which I will drive 6,000 miles over the course of a little more than a month. I told the guy at the front that I wanted it checked head to toe because I didn’t want anything going wrong on the road. I returned 4 hours later and all they had done was change the oil. They checked the transmission and said it was good. The belts are in good condition as well. The engine light is on because of a previously diagnosed misfire code, which seems to be essentially irreparable. They did remind me that my air conditioning was not working, but I knew that already, and did not plan on fixing it. (Yes, that’s right – 4 years and counting without air conditioning. It can be done. I approach it as a luxury rather than a right, and it puts things in perspective.) Thank you Graham Automotive, for your impeccable honesty, but why?
2. Mostly, the way I’ve been “training” for the hikes is by walking on the treadmill – 3 mph at a 10.0 or 12.0 incline. I usually just walk for an hour or so, which leaves me tons of time to think. And that has led me to the conclusion that I am so blessed. I’m pretty sure I’m probably going to run out of money some time in California on this trip, but I’m intent on enjoying myself, and I’m not going to worry about it, because I know that even if I don’t have money, God will still be with me, and I will still be immensely blessed. I’m healthy, regardless of the broken wrist thing, I have some great friends that I’m finally getting to visit, and my family is really cool too. Thank you God! There’s nothing greater in my mind, there’s nothing that makes me truly satisfied deep down inside, more than knowing that heaven exists and sometime relatively soon I will begin eternity with God there. Last summer I got to go to New York for the first time, and it was a life changing experience. Over Spring Break I was able to go to the Grand Canyon-an amazing sight, and hike to the top of a huge sand dune in the Mojave Desert-a spiritual event. This summer I will get to reconnect with old friends, see some very cool places, and celebrate life along the way. But really, none of it compares to knowing Christ. Philippians 3 is probably my favorite chapter in the whole Bible, and every time I reflect on my short life, I think, there’s nothing more than I want people to say about me other than I lived that chapter.
3. Through a pretty sizeable grant, Pleasant View will be building and maintaining a greenhouse. It’s tied closely to the elementary Science curriculum, but somehow there were some middle school teachers involved in the process too. Yesterday we began building the greenhouse – by “we” I mean PV employees, parents and students. It had been a while since I’d done any yard work, and the weather was great, so it turned out to be a fun time. Below are some pictures. As progress continues I’m sure I’ll be taking more pictures, but I imagine they will be posted to the PV website.
1. On Wednesday, I took my Jeep to Graham Automotive, who always seem to be reliable guys when it comes to mechanics, and again they have left me befuddled. Most mechanics look for opportunities to fix something on a car, to make sure they get their money out of the customer; these guys look for reasons not to do work. My engine light was on when I brought it to them, I needed an oil change, it has been 40,000 miles since I last had my transmission serviced, and I am about to embark on an ambitious adventure during which I will drive 6,000 miles over the course of a little more than a month. I told the guy at the front that I wanted it checked head to toe because I didn’t want anything going wrong on the road. I returned 4 hours later and all they had done was change the oil. They checked the transmission and said it was good. The belts are in good condition as well. The engine light is on because of a previously diagnosed misfire code, which seems to be essentially irreparable. They did remind me that my air conditioning was not working, but I knew that already, and did not plan on fixing it. (Yes, that’s right – 4 years and counting without air conditioning. It can be done. I approach it as a luxury rather than a right, and it puts things in perspective.) Thank you Graham Automotive, for your impeccable honesty, but why?
2. Mostly, the way I’ve been “training” for the hikes is by walking on the treadmill – 3 mph at a 10.0 or 12.0 incline. I usually just walk for an hour or so, which leaves me tons of time to think. And that has led me to the conclusion that I am so blessed. I’m pretty sure I’m probably going to run out of money some time in California on this trip, but I’m intent on enjoying myself, and I’m not going to worry about it, because I know that even if I don’t have money, God will still be with me, and I will still be immensely blessed. I’m healthy, regardless of the broken wrist thing, I have some great friends that I’m finally getting to visit, and my family is really cool too. Thank you God! There’s nothing greater in my mind, there’s nothing that makes me truly satisfied deep down inside, more than knowing that heaven exists and sometime relatively soon I will begin eternity with God there. Last summer I got to go to New York for the first time, and it was a life changing experience. Over Spring Break I was able to go to the Grand Canyon-an amazing sight, and hike to the top of a huge sand dune in the Mojave Desert-a spiritual event. This summer I will get to reconnect with old friends, see some very cool places, and celebrate life along the way. But really, none of it compares to knowing Christ. Philippians 3 is probably my favorite chapter in the whole Bible, and every time I reflect on my short life, I think, there’s nothing more than I want people to say about me other than I lived that chapter.
3. Through a pretty sizeable grant, Pleasant View will be building and maintaining a greenhouse. It’s tied closely to the elementary Science curriculum, but somehow there were some middle school teachers involved in the process too. Yesterday we began building the greenhouse – by “we” I mean PV employees, parents and students. It had been a while since I’d done any yard work, and the weather was great, so it turned out to be a fun time. Below are some pictures. As progress continues I’m sure I’ll be taking more pictures, but I imagine they will be posted to the PV website.
Building the raised beds.
The cinder block crew.
Close to finished. Hauling soil like the good old times in NOLA.
4. I’ll probably be updating my adventure on my phone quite a bit, using my Twitter account, so if you want to follow me on that to see what happen, as it happens, please feel free.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
wrist update
That's my wrist.
The big curved bone is apparently the scaphoid bone, and it was broken clean through, just about right in the middle. The doc said it looked so good that he had to make sure the x-ray tech took the picture of the correct hand. He says that I could still re-injure it if I am too rough on it though, so I still have to wear my splint, but I can begin doing "range of motion" exercises, which amounts to moving my wrist around as I normally would. Newsflash: I've been doing whatever "range of motion" exercises I could, dealing with the pain - that's probably why it healed so well.
Anyway, I'm taking this as good news. I'm supposed to go back in three weeks, but I'm not doing that! So he says I should give them a call in three weeks, then plan on going back for a check-up when I return from my trip. I personally think he just wants more money from me, so we'll see if I return.
The big curved bone is apparently the scaphoid bone, and it was broken clean through, just about right in the middle. The doc said it looked so good that he had to make sure the x-ray tech took the picture of the correct hand. He says that I could still re-injure it if I am too rough on it though, so I still have to wear my splint, but I can begin doing "range of motion" exercises, which amounts to moving my wrist around as I normally would. Newsflash: I've been doing whatever "range of motion" exercises I could, dealing with the pain - that's probably why it healed so well.Anyway, I'm taking this as good news. I'm supposed to go back in three weeks, but I'm not doing that! So he says I should give them a call in three weeks, then plan on going back for a check-up when I return from my trip. I personally think he just wants more money from me, so we'll see if I return.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Mapped Itinerary
Check this out. When I first figured everything out, I never combined all of the miles or even the time, but I think I'm going to try to keep track of that stuff as I travel.
And since my car has 114,000 miles on it, it will be receiving a full physical before beginning the trek. Thank you Graham Automotive!
And since my car has 114,000 miles on it, it will be receiving a full physical before beginning the trek. Thank you Graham Automotive!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
June 6
I spent a while this morning cleaning the car. It's not pristine, but it is considerably cleaner than it was. I eat so much in the car, and use it like a closet - leaving clothes, soccer stuff, and church stuff in it - that it really was filthy. Now, no more french fries under the seats, or crumbs from my peanut butter and jelly sandwich breakfasts left on the floorboards or in the cupholders. And all the other clutter is gone. Only 9 more days until I fill it back up and set out.
$3.75 to clean the exterior. I used Rain-X on the windows - that added bit of so-called "safety". Somehow, on a trip back from St. Louis from Matt and Maureen Simpson's wedding, the front fender trim flew off. I remember watching it get run over by an 18-wheeler and shattering into pieces.
$3.25 to vacuum the interior. It was nasty. Somehow, I guess from Buffalo River, I had leaves and tree limbs in the very back. Windex Auto Glass and Interior = money. In the immortal words of Outkast: "so fresh and so clean clean".
$3.75 to clean the exterior. I used Rain-X on the windows - that added bit of so-called "safety". Somehow, on a trip back from St. Louis from Matt and Maureen Simpson's wedding, the front fender trim flew off. I remember watching it get run over by an 18-wheeler and shattering into pieces.
$3.25 to vacuum the interior. It was nasty. Somehow, I guess from Buffalo River, I had leaves and tree limbs in the very back. Windex Auto Glass and Interior = money. In the immortal words of Outkast: "so fresh and so clean clean".
June 5/6
It's after midnight, so technically it is the 6th, but I am still thinking of it as the 5th. It was a great day: beautiful weather, a little work around school along with a bit more connecting with friends (something I don't do enough of during the school year), sorting through USPS delivery issues and unpaid bills because of it, working on the MWPN website, then finally enjoying the beautiful weather in downtown Springfield at the First Friday Art Walk.
I've been making tons of changes to the blog in anticipation for using it this summer. I hope this isn't some stupid idea that fizzles.
If there is anyone out there reading, please feel free to share your uninhibited thoughts.
I've been making tons of changes to the blog in anticipation for using it this summer. I hope this isn't some stupid idea that fizzles.
If there is anyone out there reading, please feel free to share your uninhibited thoughts.
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