slow

Lots of things going through my mind.

• My growing love and appreciation of rap music.
• My desire to create engaging, worthwhile lessons for my students.
• My attempt to bring podcasting to my Holocaust studies class.
• How is soccer going to work out, with all the other conflicts? And how many pissed off girls am I going to have when I tell them they can't do volleyball or track and soccer?
• What would it be like to teach a high school class without computers but with an accessible computer lab?
• Can I really paint my house and put things together so that I am proud of it, or am I going to need to hire painters to come in to do the work?
• Can I paint the house, and teach, and work with the OWP, and coach soccer, and lead a Life Group, and stay sane?
• Should I take a sick day sometime this week so that I can recover and get myself healthy and together?
• Am I able to build a website for the OWP that is respectable, and up to standards, and useful all at the same time?
• Can I manage the volume and diversity of emails I am now receiving with the OWP, and keep things organized by program and activity and my own responsibility?

All of these things are possible, but not all of these things are beneficial, to put my own spin on 1 Corinthians 10:23. This is basically what I'm thinking about. How do I make the tough decisions that will benefit me? How will I navigate these waters? I guess this is where my character and my true self are revealed, even in some little things.

It's been nice to reflect, and at least get some questions down on paper. My biggest question right now: how will I say to my mind that stays going and going and going that I need to go to sleep?

In other big news: THE SAINTS ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL! I really would like to have my house nice for that, and have people over, but I know it won't be done. I'll still hopefully have a few people over anyway.

learning this video thing

Since I have the day off I'm playing around with my camera and noticed I had this video lingering around from January 6. I played around with it on iMovie and here it is. Nothing special, but it does show how hard it was snowing, and still we had school the next day.

podcast, finally

Listen. It will explain.

my first podcast

rat race

Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary defines Rat Race as: strenuous, wearisome, and usually competitive activity or rush.

UsingEnglish.com defines the idiom Rat Race as: the ruthless, competitive struggle for success in work, etc.

I’ve read on blogs, nings, and tweets of the importance for me to build my Professional Learning Network. I’ve heard in lectures, meetings, and conferences of the importance of engaging within a community of learners. All that sounds great, but in practice, with all this technology, I can’t get away from the fact that it all seems like a rat race.

Who’s the first to be doing . . . in their classroom? Well, they’re on top of things, and we should be emulating them because that’s also what the kids (and, gasp, even the adults) are doing outside of the classroom – in the “real world.”

Who was the first to tweet about . . .? Well, that person gets more credit than anyone else in the entire community of tweeters who also had a hand in spreading . . . And we should all be following . . . because they tweet 400 times a day about everything they’re reading, or inspirational sayings, and they’re doing . . . in the classroom, so they’re an innovator.

Who was retweeted most on . . . because they obviously know what they’re talking about when it comes to . . .

Who is on the most #followfriday lists, or #teachertuesday lists, because you know you really do need to be following those people, because they pack so much into 140 characters on . . . that they must be an expert.

Who participates in the most #edchat discussions, or #TTT podcasts? And who asks the question that everyone is talking about in the discussion, because that person is clearly asking the right questions to their students, and that means their students are going to be smarter than . . .

Who created the . . . ning? They have gathered some great minds together and people really are talking about . . . on the site and more people should be reading and listening to and watching what’s going on there.

Did you read what . . . wrote on his blog? Did you hear who now has a blog? My goodness, I’ve been waiting for years to see what . . . has to say, and now they’re giving it to me for free, in an amazing format, and they have links and profiles and I feel like I know . . . so much better, and now I can gain so much more from their PLN too.

I’m tired of all this . . .

The world is changing. Communication is changing. Learning is changing. Education is changing. All of that seems wonderful. I am only in my fourth year of teaching, and the last three years have been as part of an eMINTS classroom with rich technology use, so maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about, but it sure seems like education is a rat race.

I teach in a K-8 school, and the unwritten competition I witness on twitter, and then through blogs, nings, podcasts, and videos, seems like a race to be first at . . . You fill in the blank. I witness the same competition when I listen to my students talking about . . . in the hallways, lunchroom, and gym: whoever was the first at . . . wins an invisible crown of cool, until the next big thing rolls around. And the next big thing in the grand scheme of things isn’t that big at all, unless looking with that short-sided obsession that blinds one from all other perspectives.

I don’t want to compete. I’m really not good at competition. Usually I become increasingly nasty and mean, and I feel ugly inside because of it. Winning is supremely important to me, but it never feels that good. Losing makes me feel like an absolute waste, literally, and I usually want to throw myself away afterward. And that’s how I’ve felt the past few days as I attempted to actively participate in whatever community I was a part of out there (or rather, here) in cyberspace. No matter how much I read, no matter how many comments I left or posts I added, I never felt good about this whole thing. I felt overwhelmed, then rushed, then tired. I felt like I was part of a rat race.

I told myself, “I want to keep up with . . .” and “I’m as good as . . .” and “I’d like to try . . . in my classroom.”

I had bought in, but now I want a refund. The innovation and information will never end. The desire to keep up probably won’t either; I’m human after all. I can't just walk away though; I need to respond. Here’s my early attempt:

I don’t want to be an overnight expert at anything that is trending overnight. If that’s how long it takes to become a trend, it will probably be gone just as fast. I want to be a scholar at something that has been around long before I came into existence, and will be around long after I leave this world. There are lots of definitions for “digital divide.” My defined divide is between those who engage in multiple and pervasive technologies and those who don’t. I want to be ok with this divide, and not feel like I am less of a human being, man, teacher, or creative mind because I don’t engage in multiple and pervasive technologies.

And that’s where I stand, for today.

from Wednesday morning

When I normally read during my devotions, I wrote on Wednesday. This is what I wrote:

I do believe a renewed drive is present within me now, and possibly three: (1) study Biblical languages, going back to school so that I could get a job at university level; (2) help grow and stabilize the OWP; (3) finish my masters degree. Were I to rank them by desire, this is how they would fall, with my desire to study Biblical languages far beyond that of completing my masters. In reality though, I need to work and complete #3 first, as I word weekly on #2 and investigate and plan for #1.

I must renew my move for teaching by grounding myself in what got me into it in the first place - impacting students' lives. I need to back off building up my PLN and myself on twitter, through blogs, and across nings. I need to ease my pursuit of research, research, research and start digging with that same intensity into my students' needs. I need to participate in the community of friends that still exists for me here in Springfield, and I need to work harder to build community in my own classroom.

The 2009-2010 year hasn't gone great, and I've had a lot to do with that. Now is the time to start making necessary changes for the better - not only for my students, but also for me.

I need to be intentional, so here goes: I ask for wisdom, the necessary knowledge, patience in all situations, and hope each new day. Help me to see the potential in each day, in each student, and in me personally. Do not send me up from here if you do not go with me.

firsts

Tonite, after school, I went to a promotional shoot for Life Groups for James River. I went to a guy's house and pretended to be friends with people I didn't know. It was super awkward at first, but then the camera people started making us talk, and we actually got along-imagine that! So I ended up meeting a bunch of new people, some of whom seemed very cool. I was able to avoid most of the video shoots, and I'm pretty sure any video I was in will end up on the cutting room floor, but I was in one of the group photos, which could mean I have my face on some stationary that James River uses to recruit people to join Life Groups. That could prove to be a bit weird.

So I've come home now, and am doing the Tar Heels medicine ball 200 workout that my mom printed off for me from Men's Health. I'm already dying. My legs are absolutely killing me; my shoulders are shot, and I'm breathing hard. It seems like every exercise is meant to work my core, so my abs and lower back are throbbing. The advantages are: I will sleep well tonite, I don't have the TV on, I don't even have music on. I'm living life in a productive manner without consuming. I'm producing by exercising and I'm producing by writing, and soon I will add a new picture to my 365/2010 project. I'm feeling good about myself today. Let's hope most Mondays in 2010 start off this well.

watching soccer on Sunday

It’s Sunday afternoon, but it still seems like morning for me. I didn’t get out of bed until 12:00. I woke up at 11:00, but just stayed in bed and thought and prayed. Tomorrow, thankfully, we’re back to the old grind. It will be much better for me to be on a schedule; schedules are good for me. When I was thinking this morning I couldn’t get past some people that are on my mind, and the fact that I want to be a voice for change. There’s no use just existing, day in and day out, and there’s no use being satisfied with friends and coworkers who are dissatisfied or unhappy with the way things are. Maybe I’m not an “agent of change” but I can at least be a voice for it. I think I would enjoy that.

I’m supposed to be getting a treadmill today from Charlie. I’m pretty excited about it, but I’m not sure how I’m going to get it in the house. I have a feeling this will be another one of those scenarios where I look like a complete moron; I’m going to have a treadmill hanging out of the back of my Jeep, with ropes attempting to hold things down and keep it safe, but basically only a show. I am confident that everything will work out, but it will be very ugly. Stay tuned for pictures.

very exciting

I’m writing on an Apple computer. Today I received my MacBook Pro in the mail, and I’m really excited about learning to use it. So many people use Macs that I feel like I had to experience the usefulness myself. I’m already impressed with how light it is, and sleek--something that Apple prides themselves on. I also already know that I will have to get an external mouse to use with this thing, because I haven’t quite figured out the mouse-pad yet, and I can see confusion continuing as I use PCs at school all the time. I’m starting to learn some shortcut keys, and will be installing Microsoft Office soon, and am interested if my knowledge of shortcut keys will transfer over from PCs. Let’s make a list of the programs I need install: Microsoft Office, Tweetdeck, Smart Notebook, Adobe Creative Suite (which I still need to get, somehow), Audacity (although I have GarageBand and will need to learn how to use it), and many others that I can’t think of right now.

But first, I need to eat something. For dinner tonite: catfish, carrots, celery, and onions over basmati rice. It will be wonderfully warm and nice on an absolutely frozen day. Look forward to some new pictures uploaded in the project 365 folder.

really?

This project 365 thing is hard.

I take pictures everyday, but almost always within the context of school. I enjoy the regular pacing and routine of my life outside of school. I am trying to learn to be more observant of the ordinary things in my life that can turn out amazing. I have looked at other 365 projects, and lots of people use filters and enhance their pictures, but I’m sticking with the plain image – no editing, no cropping. It’s just the image. Many times, I'm just taking pictures with my phone, and the quality is lousy, but it captures the moment. Yes, I like the way the filters make things look, and I wish I had time to really play with stuff, because I’ve done some neat things before, but that’s not what this is about. I guess, I'm trying to convince myself that it's ok to not edit the photos, but deep down inside I want to because I want them to look cool and clean, as I've seen others.

Today, after school, Keri and I met with the Comm. Arts Curriculum Coordinator about the PD proposal we've been working on. The meeting was 2 hours long, and in the middle of it the head Curriculum Coordinator for all programs sat down for a chat. It was interesting and very educational. I learned so much about people, and how this program works. I’m learning “on the job” as they say. The challenge is great fun, and I couldn’t imagine doing much else with my time. Coaching soccer and working with the OWP has provided so many cool opportunities for me to learn and grow as an individual. I’m really working on understanding the big picture issues in these scenarios, and looking ahead to what is available in the future. I’m not great about looking ahead; I focus much more on the here and now, and I reflect on what needs to change. I’m trying to consciously take the time to look two, three, five years down the road. That’s really hard for me, because I don’t want to make any plans on my own. I must remember why I am blessed, and why I am where I am. For me, no scripture is more important that Exodus 33:12-18. It serves as the best model for me with regard to the attitude I approach all ventures.

Tomorrow, I’m going to try to get the Kanye West Storytellers DVD. I saw a portion of it while at home in New Orleans on winter holiday, and I really liked it. I enjoy concert DVDs, and so I think it would be an interesting addition to my collection.

my first video

Abigail shows me how to get to her school website

a bit later than expected - my day

Today has been a whirlwind of a day. I began in New Orleans, eating momma's great gumbo for breakfast then heading to the airport. Had an interesting encounter going through security. The day ended in Springfield, where I've created my first podcast for 2010, and where it is snowing. Big game tomorrow: Manchester United vs. Leeds.

I'm having trouble sinc-ing my iPhone voice memos to the podbean account I use to host the podcast, so whenever I get that sorted out I'll start podcasting.
I've got the first vido loading onto YouTube, and will embed it here for your enjoyment, but not tonite.

Good night.

a new year

It is January 1, 2010. I've been in New Orleans since December 22. It's been a long time, but it has been good for me. I finished reading a book which has really inspired me. I wrote quite a bit this break, and have enjoyed it a lot. I've been using my new camera a bit too. I'm finally taking the plunge and getting a MacBook Pro. What better way to use the computer and share my writing and pictures than to make a committment to do it everyday. So here it is.
I've done a bit of reformulating on the blog for the coming year. I'm hopefully going to post something here everyday; I'm experimenting with recording myself using my phone, so maybe I'll have some podcasts up, and I'm going to try to get some videos up as well using my new camera, so that should be interesting. Another goal, among many, is to take a picture everyday, which I'll share using Picasa.
Wish me luck. And have a great 2010!