this is the definition of mundane

Today I had to get an ultrasound done. I've been having some issues with intense stomach pains, and been really pukey. Last Thursday I went to the doctor and he gave me some prescription, and then he wanted to run more tests. 


I'm convinced doctors approach people the same way mechanics approach cars, the same way "computer guys" approach computer problems, the same way plumbers approach toilets and sinks. They (doctors, if you're not keeping up) don't quite know what it wrong, so they try a bunch of different things out, and each time they can cross something off the list they get closer to making the right diagnosis, or choosing the right answer. This is why the show House is fairly popular: really smart people with problems of their own arguing about what the diagnosis is, and putting patients through the most bizarre tests ever. 


In order for the ultrasound to be effective (they wanted to be able to look at my gallbladder), I had to fast food and drink for 12 hours. The appointment was at 10:45 am this morning; you do the math. So after leaving KK's house at about 10:15, I immediately went to McDonald's (not my first choice, but they were open on a late Sunday night) for two McChicken sandwiches, both of which had more mayonnaise on them than chicken, a small water (free), and a small strawberry-banana smoothie. I wanted to make sure I got some good protein, but also had enough liquids and fruits to carry me over. The meal was ok, except for all the ridiculous mayonnaise, but I reminded myself that it was McDonald's. 


I didn't got to bed until about 12:15, and I was super thirsty. I knew that mentally I was beating myself up over being so thirsty, so I just went to sleep. This super short test was revealing to me how strong my desires were, but also were helpful in reminding me of self-control. 


When I woke up this morning, the small water I had ordered from McDonald's was still on the counter, and sweating. This meant it was still cool. I wanted some water so bad, but I didn't even take the previous prescription the doctor told me to take--I refrained from everything. The temptation was strong, but I reminded myself what I was hoping for, and what I was doing this stupid short fast for. 


I went to school from 7:30-10:00, where I got a lot done, and again was tempted to eat some cheap foods. The PTSA had brought breakfast for the teachers, and were providing us with shirts. I avoided the breakfast time, and didn't go down there until about 9:00. Still, food was on the table and people immediately began asking where I had been. After informing them that I couldn't eat, they played it cool. I was helpful for this. 


The rest of the day was easy. My stomach growled and grumbled all the way up until the appointment. But by the time I had made it to St. John's I was totally fine. I was nervous and scared about the test, and not sure where I was going. That nervousness overpowered any feelings of hunger. The temptation to eat had ended; the temptation to break down out of nervousness took precedence. 


While at St. John's Smith-Glynn-Calloway clinic I realized that I'm not around old people much, and old people creep me out. That's a terrible thing to say, and I realize that. That's why I'm writing it. So I have to process it. Well, none of my grandparents are still alive. I don't have any older friends here in Springfield. I haven't really participated in any outreach to older people, who somehow mostly live in communities in America. I work with young people; hang out with young people; volunteer with young people. I rarely ever see old people. But today, I saw a lot of old people. I had so many thoughts running through my head: "I never want to get old." "I have to stay healthy." "I don't want to look like that." "If I'm lonely at 30, maybe 75 won't be so bad. By then I'll be used to it." "I must stay healthy." And on and on the thoughts ran through my head. I even tweeted about it, which my brother responded to. 


I don't know how to deal with this. Maybe I should seek out interactions with older community members, in the effort to connect with them. They must be fairly wise, with all the age. They must have some really neat stories to tell. I guess I'm scared of sickness and uncleanliness. I need to get over that. I need to realize that old does not mean sick and unclean. The problem is, for so many people, that is what it means. And that sucks.