This one’s inspired by the Good Book

“A time is coming and has now come.”

These are words attributed to Jesus throughout the Gospel of John. I quote them often, mostly to myself, as a reminder that the time for procrastination has passed. There is no more time. Action must be taken now. In fact, it’s too late for action. I’m feeling like this in so many areas of my life.

Yesterday, at the Life Group (a small group from the church I attend) I lead, a guy who I’ve become very close to, told us that his dad had hours to live. His father has been suffering from a brain tumor for almost a year now, and the end is here. The doctors allowed the family to take him home, where he has now been unconscious for three days. As I type this, I have not heard word how things have gone. This friend shared the news with us, a group that includes three teachers (decent at handling sudden truths) and two counselors (both very good at their jobs), and we were shocked into silence. “A time is coming and has now come.”

Tomorrow begins my final week of preparations before the beginning of my fifth year of teaching. After year one, I figured I could do this for the rest of my life, even if I sucked at it. Now, it’s weird to think that I’ve made it five years. I’ve got meetings all the way until Tuesday, when the students will finally be asked to break their leave and return to the cinderblock city. My responsibilities are growing and changing, and honestly, I’m scared out of my mind. There are so many things that I want to do well, and people that I want to impress, or at least not let down, that I’m almost overcome with anxiousness. “A time is coming and has now come.”

I just got off the phone with a wonderful person, who I’ve only known for a short time, but with whom I feel oddly connected. This is the first time I’ve written about this relationship development, but with this quote in my head, I cannot deny the kernel of an idea ready to pop. I need to process, but I don’t know if I’m ready to publicly. “A time is coming and has now come.”

These scenarios all scare me in one way or another, but they also hold immense hope. Why is it that such a paradoxical statement, like, “A time is coming and has now come” so completely encompasses my confusion on these matters. Lord, I wish I knew the answers.